Copyright ©1994-1998 by Mike Quigley. No reproduction of any kind without permission. Original air dates are taken from information supplied by the Iolani Palace Irregulars and Karen Rhodes' Booking Five-O.
= One of the very best episodes, a must-see. = Betterthan average, worthy of attention. = Average, perhaps with a fewmoments of interest. = One of the very worst, a show to avoid.A well-written season opener dealing with the theft of plastic explosives destined for a "splinter group" in Northern Ireland which could be titled "Shamrocks among the sugar cane," to quote McGarrett. Belfast-born Stephen Boyd, who died on June 2, 1977, three months before this show was broadcast, gives a convincing performance as Father Daniel Costigan, the terrorist in disguise, as does Elayne Heilveil playing radical groupie Casey Fogarty. When Casey suggests Costigan's phone could be bugged, he says "And a leprechaun could be eating a pineapple." One of the conspirators hangs out at the Sea Crest Bungalow Court where the phone number is 555-2399. Duke tails Costigan in the usual obvious Five-O manner. At the beginning of the show, the bad divers throw a bunch of knock-out gas at the soldiers, but when the baddies arrive on the scene to heist the goods, they aren't wearing any gas masks themselves. A good score by Morton Stevens.
Rossano Brazzi is featured as Greek shipping magnate Zeno Stavrik, whose ship containing top-secret military weapons is hijacked under questionable circumstances. McGarrett comments that trying to find this ship on the high seas is like "looking for a contact lens in a hula hall" or "the Hula Bowl" (it's hard to determine which). Stavrik offers McGarrett some wine during a meeting, to which the top cop says, "No thank you, I never use it." When McGarrett springs the title of the episode on Danno, the latter replies in a Long John Silver voice, "Aye, Steve." Danno has pretty good eyesight later when he can see the possible location of the bad guys on an aerial map of Maui. The Five-O team gets to Maui (about 40 minutes by plane) and area of the top-secret location pretty darn quick at the show's climax. There are some interesting stunts with Stavrik's tank-like Lincoln Continental where McGarrett leaps out of its way in the nick of time. Supporting actors include Mark Lenard as Commander Hawkins, Josephine Over as Charlie the "lab assistant", Ed Fernandez as Joseph (representative of some mysterious foreign government), Joe Moore as Stavrik's assistant Stefan, Sam Sanford as Greasy, the ship's cook, and John Fitzgibbon who plays the role of a pirate like he just stepped out of an Errol Flynn movie. The date 6-9-77 is seen on a $1.5 million cheque drawn on the First World Bank (cheque #1474). The score by Bruce Broughton is above average. Duke's participation in the show is extremely peripheral. The Ford Bronco (license number 3B 4743) used in a couple of ninth season episodes makes an appearance here, running into some bushes. When the hijackers arrive at a town on Maui, the photography looks like a stock shot. Check McGarrett's pink shirt when he's working on his boat at the beginning of the show. (He says this is the "first day off I've had in three months", and comments, "When they make an eight day week, someone will figure out a nine-day work schedule.") McGarrett uses the expression "Whaddya got?" three times -- once to Chin Ho, once to Charlie ("What have we got?") and Danno.
Jean Simmons guest stars as Terri O'Brien, a pain-in-the-ass reporter from Newsworld ("the new 'in' magazine") doing a feature story on Five-O. McGarrett allows her to interview him and follow him around only after the Governor orders him to do so. The Governor tells McGarrett: "I'm not asking you to pose for a centerfold!" As McGarrett leaves, the Gov says, "You Irish are all alike -- hotheads!" Terri's access to Five-O is a trifle excessive -- she sits in the office as McGarrett grills suspects and sticks her nose into various other confidential police business. When she asks Danno how to describe McGarrett, Danno says he is "dedicated, honest, intuitive, tough, daring and eminently fair." She wonders if he is the "John Wayne of Waikiki." McGarrett tells Terri he thinks the Hawaiian people are "being terribly exploited." She needles him about rumours that he may be the next Governor, and says he is rated one of the Islands' most eligible three bachelors, known for his gourmet cooking, playing guitar and painting (three things associated with Jack Lord). She says he presents a "very sexy image" to women. Interestingly, O'Brien refers to McGarrett as a "true Renaissance man," a term which was also applied to Lord himself. When she starts to ask why there are no women in Five-O, McGarrett says, "Okay, honey, that's enough." There is more sexist sparring in the Five-O office when McGarrett says that Terri is "operating on female intuition," to which she replies, "I didn't know intuition had a gender." Frustrated by her constant meddling, McGarrett later refers to her as a "second rate Lois Lane." Moe Keale has a major part as a bus driver in this show (bus fare is a mere 25 cents).
John Rubenstein is Joey Kalima, a rookie cop and friend of McGarrett. He is suspended from the force and persecuted in a heavy-handed fashion by Bernie Fryer (Alan Oppenheimer) from HPD Internal Affairs after Joey's "Uncle" Keoki (Kwan Hi Lim) is nabbed bookmaking while Joey attends a party. Some of the interaction between McGarrett, who goes to bat for his young friend, and Fryer is quite delightful. Joey's "Mama's" hair at the party is kind of weird ... she looks like she is bald! Later when she testifies for him before the review board, her hair looks more normal. Jimmy Borges plays Marco, owner of a record store on Pahoa Street where the bald Seth Sakai as Batai and Kimo Kahoano as Reed (almost unrecognizable, covered with black dirt) are tunnelling into the bank next door through the basement. In one scene, there is an ad for Zenith stereos behind Marco. McGarrett has a good line to lab technician Charlie (the sexy Lydia Lei Kayahara, uncredited): "If women are so smart, why do they dance backwards?" Bernard Chin (previously Ching) is Sergeant Bernard Wong, Elaine Giftos is Joey's wife Lily in the most babely of her three Five-O appearances. At the end when McGarrett calls for backup to deal with the bank robbery, he can be seen dialling "911," which is followed by stock shots of cop cars. There is some Canadian content -- Joey went to the Olympics in Canada (presumably in 1976) as a boxer. Chin smokes his pipe. License number on a cop car: 2E-2127. I like the way the policemen's wives sit transfixed (read: drooling) when McGarrett addresses them during the indoctrination meeting at the beginning!
In one of the series' most "Hawaiian" episodes, Five-O is called upon to investigate the murder of Charles Underwood (John Hunt), an archaeologist excavating near King Kamehameha's grave on the big island. The script by Alvin Sapinsley, who wrote Skinhead, the Vashon trilogy, One Big Happy Family and Bones of Contention, among others, is intelligent, and combined with some big-scale scenic photography, provides a much different atmosphere than we are used to on Oahu. Geraldine Page plays Philomena Underwood, the dead man's sister. There is an unusual amount of background noise in the episode produced by the surf and wind! McGarrett talks to himself while he is analyzing several lengthy Hawaiian names to find the name of the murder suspect. It seems kind of far-fetched how he can get extract the name of Professor Kalei (George DiCenzo) from "Kanekaliikuulei." (The other names are Kamakuikahulewa, Koamokumokuoheeia and Kumulukelale.) When Kalei's research assistant George Atkins (Lou Richards) leaves his friend Eddie (Lee Lambert) in the entrance to the Kamehameka's tomb, why does it take him several hours to bring help (by which time the Eddie is dead with his head bashed in)? The ending leaves us wondering who did it. McGarrett uses a police helicopter numbered N9014F to get to and from the archaeological excavation site. A Hilo police Bronco has the license number H-38085. McGarrett's main base in Hilo is the Naniloa Surf Hotel. One "whaddya got" from McGarrett.
Gil Gerard gives a decent performance as Marty Cobb, a former HPD cop who screwed up years before during a robbery because of problems with alcohol. (The title of the episode comes from an Alcoholics Anonymous recovery program.) The Hawaii Kai Branch of A.A. has the phone number of 555-2499. Cobb's old girl friend Mavis Tracy lives at 1625 Loana . Seth Sakai appears as a punk named "Sakai," Elissa Dulce Hoopai is Melia, a lei saleswoman and George Herman is Cobb's old pal, the bartender Eddie. Five-O stuntman Chuck Couch plays Harry Kegel, co-conspirator in an armored car robbery who meets a fiery end near the beginning of the show. McGarrett misprounounces the word "autopsy" with the emphasis on the second syllable. When McGarrett and Duke are talking about Cobb at the armored car company, Cobb can hear every word! One "easy" from McGarrett near the end. There are a couple of interesting shots with a moving camera -- one when Cobb wakes up in an alley, the second when Cobb is about to tell his story to McGarrett. I don't understand why Sakai and fellow crook Vic Salazar (Emilio Delgado -- yes, Luis on Sesame Street) are shown driving before Sakai infiltrates the armored car building ... they live right across the street from it! How Sakai actually enters the company grounds is unclear. Near the end when Cobb drives past Sakai and Salazar, why don't they recognize him? There is a great freeze-frame at the end of act two which catches Cobb spitting up whiskey that Sakai and Salazar are trying to pour down his throat. This episode would get a higher rating if the music by John Cacavas wasn't so mediocre.
Richard Royce (James Wainwright), a washed-up astronaut whom McGarrett lambasts as "pathetic," gets involved promoting a real estate development run by the very oily crooked Frank Devlin (Allan Miller). When Royce pulls on a new shirt in front of his young girlfriend Chris Harmon (Christina Hart), he says it "could shock a guy into male menopause." Although McGarrett makes a good speech to Devlin at the episode's end, McGarrett seems rather ineffectual in comparison with earlier seasons. Kwan Hi Lim appears as an old ranch owner who is murdered by Devlin's thugs. The music by John Cacavas is yawnable. Wainwright's voice is very reminiscent of Kris Kristofferson's! Both Wainwright and fellow astronaut Stan Richmond (Bob Sevey) look rather old, considering they were walking on the moon around a decade earlier.
A so-so episode about international intrigue at a Honolulu tennis tournament with one of the visiting Russian players, Peter Valchek (Kurt Russell) getting involved in murder while his American counterpart Brent Saunders (Tim Matheson) tries to help Valchek's teammate Katrina Bukowski (Carole Tru Foster) defect. I wonder why the shifty KGB type Sergei Borzov (Stefan Gierasch) addresses Katrina on TV in English -- after all, her mother appears and speaks Russian! Much the same could be said for Russell's character, whose accent is lame. Numerous plot details suggest sloppy writing. For example, Valchek is threatened by Denisovich (Peter Boen), a Russian security officer, about diamonds he brought with him from Amsterdam. But later when Valchek meets with a local businessman, ostensibly about the diamonds, the man gives him a suitcase of money and says he wants Peter to make a deposit in a Swiss bank account. The diamonds are nowhere to be seen. When Katrina escapes through a skylight in the stadium locker room, she climbs up on some shelving which is seemingly not there when the cops show up to investigate the murder of Denisovich, whose body is found in the shower. Was dumping the body in that location part of Peter's plan, and did he know about Katrina's defection in advance? During the final scenes, McGarrett and Borzov play a game of cat and mouse over the phone, with Borzov saying that Valchek is in the consulate while he is actually sitting right in front of McGarrett in the Five-O office. For an all-knowing "member of the intelligence community," one would expect Borzov to be a little more savvy about Valchek's whereabouts. During the opening, the Governor describes Katrina as a "pretty girl." Les Keiter appears as an announcer at the tennis tournament. Saunders' car has the license number 2E-4785. This is the second show this season which mentions the 1976 Montreal Olympics.
The visually stunning Maud Adams (check the bikini in the opening scenes) plays Maria Noble, the boss of a subversive operation where a Russian double named Michael Trikonis infiltrates a top-secret defense project as David Harner, a Navy man, both parts played by Dale Robinette. (The show is filmed with the co-operation of both the Navy and Defense Department.) The plot is moderately interesting for at least three acts, though some details make me wonder, like the exact duplicate of Harner's hospital room which is created in an out-of-the-way house. When Maria knocks off Harner's pal Dominic Rizzo (Joe Moore) at the beginning, she shoots him point blank, but when her stooges pick him up, there isn't a single mark on his shirt! At the end of act three, Trikonis -- who has been subbing for Harner during various top-secret naval training exercises -- is injected with sodium pentothal, usually known as a "truth serum". (Why? Has he been hiding something?) In subsequent scenes, Harner, who has been kept doped up asleep for most of the show, is "programmed" by the bad guys and returned to duty (and also to help cover up the fact that Trikonis' dental work consisted of stainless steel fillings revealing his Commie origins). Harner goes through yet more training exercises, and in the final scene drives zombie-like to the beach (in a Mustang which doesn't belong to him) where he is to join Maria and her co-conspirators on board a Soviet sub. This doesn't make sense -- would Harner know as much as Trikonis assimilated during the exercises? There is a scene which drives me nuts where McGarrett is watching Harner in a car mirror -- I'm sure there is something wrong about the angle of this scene! Geoffrey Lewis -- sometimes seen in movies as Clint Eastwood's sidekick -- guest stars as Commander Chris Nolan. The music by Ernest Gold, who wrote the score for several big movies including "Exodus," is nothing special. Admiral Dunn (Jeff Kennedy) talking to McGarrett near the beginning comments, "The arms race today is really a computer race." This is the second show this season where "lava sand" provides an important clue, the other being #218, The Friends of Joey Kalima. The lab technicians in both episodes aren't in the credits. Deep Cover's is "Iolani," played by Lydia Jade. When Trikonis pulls up to the hideout in act three, he opens the door of the Ford Pinto and some beeping noise goes off inside, despite the fact that he takes the keys and puts them on the dashboard. What would cause such a beeping noise?
Clever students known as "The Brain Trust" pull off a hoax about an impending tidal wave to cover up their robbery of a jewellery store in a plot which has just a few similarities to #26, Forty Feet High, and It Kills. As well, when people in a park near the beach are freaking out while evacuating, some of the footage comes from #132, Anybody Can Build a Bomb. Overall, this is a dull episode with the 130-plus-IQ student leaders Ted Bonner (Leigh McCloskey) and Shirley Collins (Ayn Ruymen) showing little malevolence. Shirley does give a few hints that she is sexually excited by pulling one over on the people of Honolulu on such a grand scale, something the writer might have pursued more fully. The way McGarrett and Danno put two and two together near the story's end to determine that the Brain Trust is behind the hoax is too easy for words. Lyle Bettger is tidal-wave-ologist Dr. Dimitri Sartain, who gives an unconvincing demonstration of the effects of a tsunami using the metal tray from a paint roller. Historical footage is shown of the tidal wave which levelled Hilo in 1960, said to have happened in "1958." McGarrett asks his team to "check every militant organization on the campus" to find information on Kenji Tatsumo (Ron Nakahara), one of the students who is assassinated on the Iolani Palace steps while on his way to spill the beans on his cohorts. Before he is knocked off, Kenji refers to Shirley as a "thrill-crazy chick." The civil defense trucks appear broadcasting in three languages: Hawaiian, English and Japanese. The ambulance which is hijacked at the beginning is a Pacific Ambulance.
Directed by Reza Badiyi. A mute girl, Kati Parisa (Sian Barbara Allen -- who looks so emaciated she could play the lead in the Karen Carpenter Story), is a witness to the murder of Sandanarik, a winner of the Nobel Prize for literature who has spoken out against human rights abuses in his unnamed home country. The head of the country's secret police, the dreaded Zadak (beardo Bo Brundin, with a very peculiar accent), is in Hawaii under the alias of "Derek Hoffman," trying to make sure that Sandanarik's message doesn't get delivered to an upcoming international conference. It's seen raining during this episode, so much so at Sandanarik's funeral the camera lens gets wet. His widow, played by the attractive Marisa Pavan, speaks French. Jonathan Kaye, who appears briefly, is played by Bill Edwards. McGarrett has a neat scene when he confronts manicurist Helen Macy (Mary-Angela) who participated in Sandanarik's drowning at the beginning of the show. Don Ray's score has its good points, especially a scene where McGarrett confronts would-be assassins in the hospital. The Manoa Cab company has the phone number 732-5577.
McGarrett is called in to track down the daughter of shipping magnate George Cameron, whose daughter Debbie (Deirdre Berthrong) has been "kidnapped" by a "Kanaka with brown skin," David Kaluna (the David Cassidy-like Michael Mullins), whose mother just happens to be McGarrett's cleaning lady. McGarrett tells the Governor in no uncertain terms (especially for a later-season episode) he doesn't like being used in this manner, saying that if David belonged to some local country club, Cameron wouldn't be so concerned. The Governor replies, "Nobody's accusing Mr. Cameron of bigotry," and Cameron comments to McGarrett that he has "done more for these natives than you or the Governor." Cameron calls the Governor "Phil" during this exchange, by the way. After Cameron leaves, the Governor says McGarrett is "out of line" when McGarrett objects to being his flunky (click on the plot link above for more details). Later, Cameron's private detective Fletcher (Robert Harker) traces a phone call, completing the operation in about 25 seconds. Compare this with the numerous times when McGarrett gets a call in the office which he wants Danno or someone to trace ... they can't do it in a couple of minutes. Things end up on the Big Island where David and the pregnant Debbie attempt to start a new life with David's fisherman Uncle Noah (John Marley). There is a lot of mumbo-jumbo about David's Hawaiian heritage whenever they sail past the City of Refuge (Puuhonua O Honaunau), a place were those who broke Kapu (taboo) in olden times could be pardoned. The ending is terrible -- after a confrontation with the young lovers, Debbie's father just wanders off while McGarrett and Danno utter banalities about how he will feel better when he sees his grandchild! Kwan Hi Lim plays Dr. Kubota, an abortionist. The music by John Cacavas is mind-bogglingly bad -- a sappy main theme for the two young lovers reminiscent of The Carpenters' "Close To You" and some grunting chant-like sounds trying to evoke images of Hawaiian history. This episode would get a much higher rating if the music was better! Close examination of the pumps at the gas station where David works reveals a promotion for a "Free Big Mac Sandwich at McDonald's in Hawaii." Before she runs away with David, Debbie makes an appointment at the Mission Clinic on 246 Pauahi Street, Honolulu 96813. She is using the pseudonym "Jane Thompson," age 18, who lives at 142 Seaside Avenue, Honolulu. The appointment is for 7/17/77. It takes almost a minute and a half before the titles appear at the beginning of Act One.
Cal Bellini overacts his way through this episode as Doctor John Palahana, who falls under suspicion after a senior physician whom he considers over the hill and has complained about to the hospital board is found dead. In a couple of confrontational scenes, Bellini turns up the volume, but other times where McGarrett is putting the heat on him, it seems like he has taken a dose of Ritalin. Palahana tells local benefactor and hospital board member Constance Kincaid (Eleanor Parker, whose movie career goes back to the early 1940s), "I am not one of your paniolos any longer," referring to his humble beginnings. A couple of local colour quotes -- Bellini tells McGarrett, "You're barking up the wrong palm," and Constance's daughter, the Toni Tenille-like Julie (Lara Parker -- any relation to Eleanor?), uses the expression "Are you out of your coconut?" Mrs. Kincaid describes McGarrett as "a bleeding heart liberal who believes the Hawaiians were exploited by the missionaries," and says the local people are "childlike." Yankee Chang plays Mrs. Kincaid's servant. This is the second episode in a row where the word "pregnant" is heard. (John and Julie "did it" when they were younger, and their "love child" has been raised by one of the ranch hands on the sly without either John or Constance knowing.) The villains in this episode, Julie's husband Kelly Trahune (John Reilly) and especially developer Paul Weaver (Carleton Smith) are much too bland -- the latter is given hardly any screen time. When Danno is examining a doctor's handwriting, McGarrett asks him, "Whaddya got besides eyestrain?"
McGarrett fakes leaving town -- ostensibly for some "family business" in San Francisco -- at the height of an investigation into the murder of Anton Krebs (Rod Aiu), a longshormen's union candidate, only to reappear in disguise as "Riley," sporting a wig and feeble moustache and looking like John Beck, star of Nightmare in Blue. One wonders how he can keep these on, considering how many fights he's in (not to mention kissing Sharon Farrell). McGarrett drinks in this show, which he never does in "real life," and stuffs money down a bar girl's cleavage. He also slugs Danno, nearly breaking his hand. Duke and Chin hang out at some of Honolulu's sleazier spots to get information. (A strip club on Hotel Street advertises "Live on Stage: Act of Love" on its marquee.) Farrell appears as Frankie Demara, an opium-smoking dope fiend, girlfriend of the murdered man. Her performance is by far the most interesting thing about this episode. After being released from jail, she wants to go back to McGarrett's place where she tells him "we'll make it." As he tucks her into bed, she grabs his hand and pulls it in front of her, seemingly grasping her boob! This show wanders from one scene to the next without making too much sense. At the end, Farrell dies after being drilled by some gangsters and that's it! The music by Ernest Gold is not particularly memorable, but has a few interesting moments. One major problem with McGarrett's "underground" performance is that aside from the opening scenes where he fights off Beau Van Den Ecker as "The Knife" and then gets drunk with the one-armed Arthur (Michael Conrad), he questions and lectures people just like a cop, rather than playing a character like he did in The Ways of Love. "The Knife" is hardly the stupidest name in this show -- Al Waterson plays someone called "Hawaiian" (duh!). At the beginning of the show when he appears as himself, McGarrett wears cool shades. The guy who knocks off Krebs at the beginning of the show is the incredibly ugly guy who accompanies Keene Curtis' character at the beginning of #143, Killer at Sea. Several cases of Valium are seen in a truck, part of an about-to-be-stolen shipment, in one scene.
Congressman John Richard Carr (David Birney), a "knight in shining armor" who might have a "crack at the White House" in 1984, is caught in a web of sexual intrigue at a Honolulu beauty contest where he is one of the judges. Doug Mossman appears as Jimmy Keno, the host of the show. One of the twelve finalists has a banner across her swimsuit which says "Miss Philipines." The boss of the beauty contest, Andrea King (Shannon Wilcox), is a total bitch. McGarrett makes a big deal of addressing her as "Ms.", and she tells him to "stop being patronizing," and abuses him for his "attitude" toward beauty contests. He replies, "I didn't mean to be condescending; I was just using a term women libbers seem to prefer." (The motivation for this remark is peculiar -- does McGarrett perhaps think that the beauty contest is like a meat market? There is no indication to suggest that King is a "women's libber.") Later, McGarrett examines a film negative of an encounter between Carr and contestant Jane Kuan (Carmella Letman), which is actually a positive. There are several scenes at the Ilikai Hotel and Carr meets with the blackmailing David Chung (Soon-Teck Oh) near the War Memorial Natatorium. Lyle Bettger plays Jonathan Kaye. The score by Cacavas contains some sleazy saxophone passages. McGarrett quote: "I make it my business to know about a lot of things."
Once again Five-O's top cop has to deal with a fed, specifically justice department agent Al Marsh (George Grizzard, giving a sympathetic performance) who is watching over Jack Fabian (Charles Cioffi), a protected witness "under a grant of immunity" who is involved in the murder of a Honolulu undercover policeman at the beginning of the show. Despite the fact that McGarrett delivers most of his dialogue in a hush-hush manner and his continual pleas to Marsh's conscience about arresting Fabian (all of which are resisted) become tiresome, this is not a bad episode. Danno has some energetic stunts, leaping over a picnic table and running along the top of parked cars. Lyle Bettger is Jonathan Kaye, who tells McGarrett, "Don't take on the government -- you can't win." At one point, Duke and Chin are tailing gangster Eddie Rizzo (John Russo). Rizzo makes a right turn, but when you see Chin and Duke following in Rizzo's mirror, they are making a left hand turn! After Rizzo has a heart attack while driving, Duke looks in the gangster's wrecked car (license number 3E-1201) and gets showered by a fire hydrant. Chin later refers to some powdered drugs as "the stuff that dreams are made of." Fabian's girl friend Luana (Joanne Nail) has a flower shop which is located at 3046 Monsarrat Ave., with ZIP code 96815. McGarrett overuses "Easy, easy...," twice to the widow of the murdered cop, four times to the shot Marsh. Beau Van Den Ecker is seen as the nasty but well-tanned hitman Harry Sunday, Ed Fernandez is Doctor Fremont and Electra Gailas (Gailes in the credits) Fair is a doctor who gets very cranky when McGarrett takes too much of her patient's time. There are some interesting camera angles looking up when McGarrett and Danno first visit Marsh. The main titles don't start until about 1:20 after the beginning of the first act, and then are interspersed with dialogue.
Danno, wearing a tank top (as well as hideous blue bell bottom pants and high-heeled shoes), is the judge at a surfing contest where one of the entrants, Ben Hanakea (Kimo Kahoano) becomes a suspect in the death of his estranged girlfriend Lorca Davidson (Valerie Charles). Ben is referred to by non-Hawaiians as a "no-neck gorilla," a "Kanaka," and a "coconut chaser." The last of these expressions has crucial plot significance when it reminds Lorca's friend and fellow waitress Elaine Sebastian (Lisa Eilbacher) of something she heard on the phone, but the person speaking it sounds like he is saying "coconut juicer." When Lorca fights with another ex-beau and competing surfer Gavin McNabb (David M. Young), she utters the rather unusual expression "Your macho is bleeding." There's a funny scene where Danno speaks pidgin English to two smart-ass friends of Ben. Near the beginning Moe "Truck" Keale appears as the pimp-like Charlie (looking very much like his character Wunton in #127, Tricks are Not Treats), who's into "dope, prostitution and shakedowns." Why the scene with this character is in the show at all is a mystery -- perhaps to give McGarrett more screen time or show us that it's "business as usual" in the Five-O office back in Honolulu? McGarrett, whose participation is rather peripheral, cautions Danno to "judge the surfers, not the bikinis." When Elaine looks at the surfers through a seemingly powerful telescope at one point, the view is further away than McGarrett's binoculars! Both Danno and McGarrett abuse the assistant D.A. named Sunada (Luella Costello), making sure they refer to her as "Ms." Interestingly, when she first appears, her dress is similar to that of a Japanese schoolgirl. Charlie, the lab technician, is played by Lydia Lei Kayahara, who has difficulty not breaking into laughter when she, Danno and McGarrett are discussing different fragrances of surfboard wax. There are some continuity problems when Danno is chasing Ben by car through a forest near the beach trying to persuade him to give up. Near the end of the chase, Williams' car flies up the air and down into the sand on the beach, revealing major frontal damage. But in the next shot, the front is not only undamaged, the car seems to be a different model! Just before this, Ben's friends drive Danno off the road, and between two different shots of their car is another which seems to go back into time. I find it strange that when Gavin and two other surfers are discussing Lorca in a bar after her death, no one seems to say anything about the fact that she is dead ... surely this would have been major news! The ending is stupid -- Elaine is not in any danger of falling off the cliff when seen from above, though the camera angle from below suggests things are a little more perilous. The last scene, with McGarrett and Danno saying they'll put in a good word for Ben at the police academy (despite his lack of co-operation during recent events) sucks. Doc Bergmann is spoken to on the phone, but not seen. The license plate 3B-4743 is viewed on a Ford Bronco again. The stock score is mostly banal, especially the surfin' music accompanying the action at the beach, though there is one interesting cue featuring tuba and muted French horns. Ben's mother at one point is heard saying she made lau-lau, which is meat like pork or chicken wrapped in banana or another leaf & steamed. Puddles from a rainstorm are seen on the ground in one scene.
McGarrett is reluctant to use Maui policewoman Valerie Bates (Carol Lynley) to help solve a case involving drugs after an undercover cop working for Five-O is found in the harbor, shot in the back. McGarrett says, "The case is much too heavy for a lady." She replies, "A woman may be the head of Hawaii Five-O some day." McGarrett, hard-pressed to overcome a serious case of sexism, finally relents. Lynley's acting in this episode is exceptionally bad, especially in scenes with her boyfriend Kimo Hameo (Enrique Novi) where she gets all preachy and tries to persuade him to abandon his life of crime. Doug Mossman appears as newsman Jimmy Akana, Nehphi Hannemann is a thug called Surfer. Chin Ho does obvious surveillance across the street from drug boss Martin Lynch's (Vic Tayback) house in a "Matzo Cable TV" truck (is this some kind of in-joke?). There is more obvious tailing with a helicopter later ... and then McGarrett jumps from it! Surfer refers to Kimo as "Kimo Sabe" and Kimo refers to himself as a "dumb Kanaka" later. The dissonant score by Morton Stevens, mostly using strings and brass, is unexceptional. Watch the ash on Lynley's cigarette in the bar scene -- looks like she is smoking pretty fast. In the coroner's office at the beginning, the lighting is a very peculiar green.
An execrable show, one of the very worst. Willy Barker (David Dukes) is seeking revenge on Honolulu businessman Yuhio Muromoto (Bennett Ohta), who tortured his father in a Japanese prison camp during the war (shades of #56, The Reunion). At the same time he is bombing Muromoto's companies, Barker becomes friendly with the tycoon's daughter Nancy (Donna Benz) who teaches an adult education photography class. One wonders why she would even have the remotest interest in him, since he is a creep and she is a good-looking high-class society "babe"! (She actually tells him during an intimate moment "I really like you and I want to share with you.") When McGarrett goes to the Japanese consul to snoop into Muromoto's wartime records, Sakata (Tommy Fujiwara) says that when Tokyo was firebombed, "tons of records were destroyed." (Interesting that in Samurai and The Reunion, this was not the case.) Dukes' acting is very bad -- whenever he telephones threats to Muromoto, he breaks out in a sweat and acts all twitchy. (Muromoto can't recognize Willy's voice on the phone despite the fact that he has met his daughter's boyfriend and Willy makes no attempt to disguise it.) Dukes pales in comparison with Anne Francis, who is playing Alicia Wade, Muromoto's secretary of twelve years, not to mention Barbara Kelly as Mrs. Allen, Barker's gum-chewing, slutty landlady. Barker lures the very gullible Nancy to an abandoned building and calls her father, who soon arrives on the scene where he is tied up with his daughter. (The view from inside Muromoto's car does not match the exterior shots as he drives down the hill.) Suddenly Alicia appears out of nowhere, telling Muromoto that she was jealous of his Japanese bride-to-be Sumiko. The big question is -- how did she and Barker ever get together to plot this scheme in the first place? McGarrett and Danno follow Muromoto with the help of a helicopter which can see Muromoto's rear license plate (D1803A) that is conveniently bent up. As Danno and Steve approach the building in their car, of course no one can hear them, and McGarrett just happens to have some wire cutters in the trunk which enable the Five-O duo to easily enter the "compound." McGarrett then gets Danno to throw an old grenade which has been refilled with explosives as a distraction. The final scenes are appalling -- the "programmed" Barker, in combat gear, instead of bayonetting Muromoto, goes into a crouch which looks like he has diarrhea. I wish he would have stabbed Francis, whose wretched performance is reminiscent of a bad high school drama production. But we're not over yet -- there is McGarrett's final big speech to reporter Joe Boyd (Joshua Bryant) who has been dogging him throughout the case: "It's not the real story ... the real story is about people who can't let go of hate and what hate does to them and others ... When do all wars end? When people stop hating and start loving." Bryant asks: "You think that'll ever happen?" to which McGarrett replies, "It better ... oh God, it better." Augh! What crap! At least the music by Cacavas is much better than usual for this composer.
An Agatha Christie-like plot with various members of a family seemingly trying to knock each other off because of the way a will is worded. Helen Funai as Riah Barlow, widow of the dead man, looks pretty young. Her son Lawrence is seen driving down a road which is very narrow, but just before he drives over a cliff, the road suddenly changes to two lanes with a white line in the middle. As the car rolls down the cliff, it is obvious that there is no one in the driver's seat, but when Danno and Chin check the car at the bottom, they say that Lawrence's body inside. An interesting story, with an above-average classical-sounding score by Walter Scharf. The hill that one of the characters drives up at the beginning to commit suicide is the same one where Cal Bellini holds a policewoman hostage in #267, Voice of Terror. McGarrett speaks French in this show.
This episode, directed by Reza Badiyi, introduces the insufferable "old biddy" and mystery writer Millicent Shand (Mildred Natwick, who appeared with Helen Hayes in the 1972 film The Snoop Sisters, about two elderly mystery writers turned private eyes). A childhood pal of the Governor's (she calls him "Sonny"), she is investigating a fishy cryogenics organization run by Kenneth Kirk (Peter Lawford). Lawford acts like he is drunk in his opening scenes. John Fitzgibbon plays his oily assistant Norman Pryce. The first "wave" before a commercial does not have ominous music! Kwan Hi Lim appears as someone connected with the Attorney-General's office named Kwan Hi Lim. Several horrible puns in this episode. John Cacavas' use of English-sounding music to accompany Millicent is appropriate as is the creepy background he provides when she tours the body room. I like the scene where Danno and Duke disguised as power company repairman just walk into the gallery of the "revival room" and no one notices them! What is even more peculiar is what created the power failure that brought them there in the first place. After they return to the Five-O office, McGarrett is incredulous over the things they saw: "What have you two been smoking? You're out of your gourds!" This show uses lots of stock 5-0 actors -- Lou Richards, Tommy Fujiwara, Jimmy Borges, Dan Taba, Winston Char (who is "Dr. Char"). Who is Nobu McCarthy who gets featured billing? The nurse near the end? The date of January 1976 is seen. At the 1999 Five-O reunion, Fred Ball, who played a frozen corpse that was resuscitated in this episode, told me that the "thawing out room" in the cryogenics company was one of the most expensive sets ever created for the show, and it was built in the Five-O studio where the reunion was held (a rather small building compared to the new soundstage). He told me that he was lying in his "coffin" and everyone on the crew went to lunch. Fred was afraid to open the coffin lest he ruin a take, but finally poked his head out to find that everyone had left him! Fred confirmed my suspicions that Lawford was drunk, saying that the actor was so sloshed that he kept blowing his lines. According to a tell-all book about Lawford, the actor ran up quite a large bill at the Honolulu hotel where he was staying above his normal room and board. When the hotel tried to get CBS to pay this bill, they refused. Only after a lot of heated discussion was the bill settled, and Lawford never worked for another CBS series.
Luciana Paluzzi stars as Liana LaBella ("the beautiful"), an Italian scandal-mongering journalist similar to Oriana Fallaci. This show see-saws back and forth between comic and serious, with uneven results. When Danno meets McGarrett returning from a police chiefs' conference at the beginning, he talks about seeing LaBella on "the Mike Douglas show" and then screws up his lines when he talks about how she covers "all the beautiful ... uh ... people ... in the ... in the ... beautiful places." Danno has the hots for LaBella ... McGarrett scowls. She refers to Danno as a "handsome young man." McGarrett warns Danno about mixing business with pleasure. Danno replies, "You know me, Steve." McGarrett counters, "That's exactly why I mentioned it." LaBella seems to have free run of the Honolulu Star-Bulletin office and darkroom, despite the fact she is a visiting journalist. Her car has a strange license number -- B-335. When he comes to LaBella's aid after she's attacked in the darkroom by Paul Roberts (Bruce Wilson), one of the bad guys, Duke gets a faceful of photographic chemicals. As he returns to the Five-O office, McGarrett is very sympathetic. This show features a female judge. McGarrett tells her, "Sue me!" Some of the relationships in this show are complicated. Close examination of McGarrett dialling up "central dispatch" reveals their number to be 734-4536. McGarrett reveals his sexist side while verbally sparring with LaBella, muttering "Women!" after she calls the Five-O team stupid. She goes on, "Do you still deny that you invaded me?" He says, "I beg your pardon?" She replies, "My room ... my room..." At the end, McGarrett invites LaBella to dinner. She says, "I behaved like an idiot." McGarrett responds, "Never argue with a lady." The score by Fred Steiner (credited as both composer and conductor) has an Italianate flavour with lots of mandolin music.
Aside from the presence of the sexy Laraine Stephens as Katie Kealoha, this episode about switched bodies and land speculation is rather dull, not helped by Andrew Prine's ineffectual performance as the bad guy. One of the few interesting moments is when McGarrett takes a glass and knife from a restaurant for fingerprints and his waitress (Laura Sode, later the Five-O secretary) wonders if he has some kind of unusual fetish. John Hillerman as the wheeler-dealer Nelson Bodine, who drives a car even bigger than McGarrett's, refers to his secretary Alice (Barbara Bingham) as "a dumb broad." A postal drop box that Bodine uses for his shady transactions has the number 10282 -- the post office itself has the ZIP code 96816, Winston Char is seen as lab technician Dr. Char, Jonathan Kaye is played by Lyle Bettger. The ending has McGarrett in his Grand Brougham trying to run Prine's plane off the runway.MORE TRIVIA:
- An aerial shot of McGarrett driving in his car shows the 4-door Mercury Parklane, which he hasn't driven for a few seasons.
Chin Ho meets an ignominious end in this episode, getting shot by some punks while he is taking part in an undercover operation in Chinatown. McGarrett describes Chin as "one of the state's top law-enforcement officers", and says, "I shouldn't have let him go undercover ... he was too well-known." (Danno replies with, "You know how suspicious those Chinese merchants are.") McGarrett cries in the corner as he talks about Chin's death. Manu Tupou gives a classy performance as Cappy Pahoa, boss of the kumu (Hawaiian mafia) who is equally perturbed by Chin's murder. His right-hand man, Billy Swan (Vic Malo), will appear in future episodes when his boss is Tony Aleka (Ross Martin). Pahoa's daughter Kini is played by Elissa Dulce Hoopai. Chin's daughter Suzy (Jean Marie Hon), an old school friend of Kini, arrives from San Francisco and we learn that Chin's wife died some time before. McGarrett tells Suzy -- whom he addresses as "honey" at one point -- that the Five-O team is "the only family I know." One wonders why McGarrett has to explain to Suzy that Caucasians in Hawaii are called "haoles" -- surely she would know this! Suzy's character development leaves a lot to be desired. When McGarrett confronts punk (and Chin's assassin) Jimmy Rego (Reni Santoni) in his office, he tells Jimmy, "Don't you ever call me 'cop'. The name is McGarrett and the title is 'Mister'." McGarrett busts Pahoa at a cockfight (attention, SPCA!) to enlist his cooperation in getting Rego. McGarrett's final words to Pahoa are, "One day we'll meet again," which unfortunately never happens. When he finally confronts the weasel-like Rego at the end, after beating the crap out of him and threatening him with a gun, McGarrett says, "I want to book this one ... I think that Chin would have liked that." (Why does McGarrett drag Suzy along to the final confrontation and then tell her to sit in the car?) McGarrett at one point uses the expression "diabolic." The opening scenes are letterboxed. Music by Walter Scharf.