Five-O Oddities, Goofs, Trivia -- Season 10

Copyright ©1994-2013 by Mike Quigley. No reproduction of any kind without permission. Original air dates are taken from information supplied by the Iolani Palace Irregulars and Karen Rhodes' Booking Five-O.


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OUR RATINGS:
**** = One of the very best episodes, a must-see.
*** = Better than average, worthy of attention.
** = Average, perhaps with a few moments of interest.
* = One of the very worst, a show to avoid.
215. Up the Rebels***
Original air date: 9/15/77 --
Plot -- Opening Credits -- End Credits

The tenth season opener is a good "contemporary issues" show dealing with the theft of plastic explosives destined for a splinter group in Northern Ireland. According to military bigshot Commander Sprague, a small amount of these perfect weapons for "urban warfare" which is no larger than a tape cassette, can destroy half a city block. Belfast-born Stephen Boyd, best-known for his performance as Messala in the 1959 film Ben-Hur, gives a convincing performance as Sean Rourke, disguised as Father Daniel Costigan. Costigan's cover in Hawaii is visiting Catholic charitable organizations including St. Clare's (spelled alternatively in the subtitles as St. Claire's) Orphanage. Elayne Heilveil is radical groupie Casey Fogarty whose mainland industrialist father is known for his support of radical causes. Danno says she was featured on the cover of "Newsworld" magazine after her involvement running medicine to the Indians during the siege at Wounded Knee in 1973. The naïve Fogarty, who brings Costigan an attaché case filled with cash, soon develops a sexual interest in him after they meet at the Halona Point lookout, wanting to run away with the rebel "priest" and assist his cause. Costigan is both charming and very nasty. He tracks down one of the Hawaiian co-conspirators, James Ryan, who owned the boat used at the beginning of the show to ferry the bad guys after they had grabbed the explosives from the military men. Ryan, who lives at 2957 Kalakaua Avenue, is freaking out, hiding at the Sea Crest Bungalow Court where the phone number is 555-2399. Costigan shows up asking for donations to St. Claire's and shoots Ryan dead. (Why Ryan would let Costigan in his room after recognizing Costigan's Irish accent is a mystery.) Costigan also takes care of Foley, the local man in charge of the theft, who suddenly wants more money, delivering a package which contains not only money, but also explosives to Foley in a shack out in the sticks. I don't understand why Costigan decides to smuggle the explosives disguised as "toys" via ship (The Halls of Tara, which looks more like an oversized tug) out of Hawaii to West Africa via Cape Horn, after which they will be flown to Ireland by chartered plane. I'm sure there would have been a more creative ways to smuggle the goods by plane going directly (and much quicker) to Ireland. This show ends with a "moralistic comment" by McGarrett which we will be hearing more of during this season and all the way to the end of the series. This is probably as a result of various people putting heat on the producers because of violence on TV, with the idea that the show should be more socially relevant and morally responsible. McGarrett ends by saying "God help the children [of Ireland]." There is a good score by Morton Stevens, containing many motives which will be heard in later shows.

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216. You Don't See Many Pirates These Days**1/2
Original air date: 9/22/77 --
Plot -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
Rossano Brazzi stars as Greek shipping magnate Zeno Stavrik, whose ship, the Aldebaran, is hijacked under questionable circumstances. Almost as soon as this happens, McGarrett gets a call from Jonathan Kaye (Bill Edwards) telling him to find the ship, but not giving any information as to why this is so important the case requires federal intervention. Later, Kaye tells McGarrett that the ship was carrying "highly sophisticated military equipment" in the form of "lightweight anti-tank missiles," and that Starvik's ships "have made these clandestine deliveries before." Now if these shipments are destined for the United States, one wonders why the military or whatever government department was concerned wouldn't just use some military transport, rather than relying on some private company where such a shipment would have considerable risk. Stavrik tells McGarrett that he was aware the ships were carrying this hardware, and that it was discharged at "Port Sienyu," located in some mysterious country where the political situation is very unstable. If so, we have to ask again why is Jonathan Kaye so concerned to the extent of wanting assurance that the hijacked ship was scuttled after evidence to that effect is found (but the evidence is bogus, as Charlie (Josie Over), the lab technician determines). It sounds as if the missiles are at the bottom of the ocean, Kaye can breathe a sigh of relief since no one will ever find them. Eventually it is revealed that Stavrik is double-dealing, pretending to lose his cargo while he is hiring several "pirates" (led by Conroy Baylor (Bruce Wilson), the former first mate of the Aldebaran) to seize the ship and off-load the missile components which are then to be sold to a mysterious foreign government. Their representative, Joseph, compliments Stavrik, saying he is clever for selling his cargoes twice and then collecting insurance on the vessel. The last part of the show has new dimensions in Five-O time compression. First, during a meeting to determine where the hijacked Aldebaran might be hidden, Danno has a McGarrett-like brainstorm, pointing out some obscure cove on a map of Maui as "a hot spot" which is the most likely place (which, of course, it is). Then the Five-O team gets to Maui in record time -- normally about 40 minutes by plane, not including time to get to the airport in Honolulu and also to get from the airport in Maui to this out-of-the-way cove. McGarrett at least has the use of a Coast Guard helicopter to get him from the cove to the airport, where there is an interesting stunt with Stavrik's tank-like Lincoln Continental as McGarrett leaps out of its way in the nick of time. Five-O stock actors in the show include Josie Over as Charlie the lab assistant, Joe Moore as Stavrik's assistant Stefan and Sam Sanford as Greasy, the ship's cook. John Fitzgibbon plays the role of Markle, one of the pirates, in a hammy fashion and Mark Lenard is Lieutenant Commander Hawkins in the last of his four Five-O appearances. A good score by Bruce Broughton.

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217. The Cop on the Cover***
Original air date: 9/29/77 --
Opening Credits -- End Credits
In this story, one of the few Five-O episodes written by a woman, Jean Simmons guest stars as Terri O'Brien, a pain-in-the-ass reporter from Newsworld ("the new 'in' magazine") doing a feature story on Five-O. McGarrett allows her to interview him and follow him around only after the Governor orders him to do so. The Governor tells McGarrett: "I'm not asking you to pose for a centerfold!" He tells McGarrett to "cool off and settle down" after McGarrett balks at the his demands. As McGarrett leaves, the Governor says, "You Irish are all alike -- hotheads!" Terri's access to Five-O is all-encompassing -- she sits in the office as McGarrett grills suspects and sticks her nose into various other confidential business including a kidnapping that Five-O is investigating. When she asks Danno how to describe McGarrett, Danno says he is "dedicated, honest, intuitive, tough, daring and eminently fair." She wonders if he is the "John Wayne of Waikiki." McGarrett tells Terri he thinks the Hawaiian people are "being terribly exploited." She needles him about rumours that he may be the next Governor, and says he is rated one of the Islands' most eligible three bachelors, known for his gourmet cooking, playing guitar and painting (three things associated with Jack Lord). She says he presents a "very sexy image" to women. Interestingly, O'Brien refers to McGarrett as a "true Renaissance man," a term which was also applied to Lord himself. When she starts to ask why there are no women in Five-O, McGarrett says, "Okay, honey, that's enough," explaining that adding untrained people to the team could interfere with Five-O's effectiveness. There is more sexist sparring in the Five-O office when McGarrett says that Terri is "operating on female intuition," to which she replies, "I didn't know intuition had a gender." Frustrated by her constant meddling, McGarrett later refers to her as a "second rate Lois Lane" and calls her "Ms." O'Brien. Moe Keale has a major part in this show as bus driver Joe Moala. He is suspected of involvement with the kidnapping after Stuart Longworth (Henry Darrow), father of the two kidnapped kids, leaves a package containing ransom money (and -- as revealed later -- microfilm for the design to a breeder reactor) on Moala's bus. Moala keeps staring at Longworth while he is driving. Moala later says that Longworth drew attention to himself because he was wearing a suit ("Nice suits stand out like a sore thumb on my run.") as well as the fact that he took the bus for only one stop. After Longworth gets off, Kia Chieu (Josie Over) moves from the back of the bus to the seat formerly occupied by Longworth to grab the money which is underneath it. Moala notices her as well. (It's surprising that Longworth doesn't recognize her, since she is a receptionist in the front office at the ESSTR Corporation where he works.) The key to a bus station locker containing the $50,000 ransom is later found at Moala's house. It seems far-fetched that Chieu and her boyfriend went to all the trouble to track down who was the driver of the bus so they could plant the key in his dresser drawer and draw attention away from their crime. They hardly seem like "sophisticated criminals" who provoke Longworth to refer to the "insidious terror these people make me feel." Moala fakes a heart attack as he is about to be taken to jail and later escapes, which leads to a dramatic confrontation where McGarrett pleads with Moala to give himself up, because he is convinced of Moala's innocence. In McGarrett's office, Moala convincingly recalls the events with Longworth and Chieu on his bus and later identifies Chieu from personnel photos from Longworth's company. Having finished her story on Five-O, Terri manages to track down Chieu because she wants to ask her about these huge glasses she wears. Of course, Terri gets discovered by Chieu and her boyfriend. Chieu recognizes Terri from when she visited Longworth's office. When McGarrett rescues Terri in the nick of time, he takes advantage of her tied-up and gagged state to give her a stern lecture about interfering with his investigation. At the finale, to "eat crow," Terri brings a gourmet meal to the Five-O office late at night, and McGarrett is seen pouring champagne into two glasses, a very rare event.

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218. The Friends of Joey Kalima**1/2
Original air date: 10/13/77
McGarrett goes to bat for the title character, played by John Rubinstein, a rookie cop and friend who is suspended from the force and persecuted in a heavy-handed fashion by Bernie Fryer (Alan Oppenheimer) from HPD Internal Affairs after Joey's "Uncle" Keoki (Kwan Hi Lim) is nabbed bookmaking at a luau where Joey is present but unaware of the illegal activity. Some of the interaction between McGarrett and "Fearless Fryer" is quite delightful, especially when Fryer tries to butter him up saying "You do your job better than any man I've ever seen." Jimmy Borges is Marco, owner of a record store on Pahoa Street where the bald Seth Sakai as Batai and Kimo Kahoano as Reed are tunnelling into the bank next door through the basement. Marco is the one who arranged for Keoki to get busted after getting stiffed on a couple of bets. He does this via Teo Rodriguez (Al Lopaka), a police informer, paying him $50 to spill the beans to the cops. Later, Teo is wandering around the back of the store and figures out what is going on with the tunnel. He gets bonked on the head by Batai and his body is dumped in some obscure location where, of course, it is found later. The story is OK up until near the end, with lots of local color in the form of Joey’s relatives, plus Elaine Giftos in the most babely of her Five-O appearances as Joey's wife Lily. Then it gets dumb. After being accused by Fryer, Joey is basically screwed, especially because Teo, the only guy who could clear him, is knocked off. Then Joey visits Marco's record shop with McGarrett, who notices the lava dust from the basement digging which is a “big clue.” After they leave the shop, there are the usual brainstorms from McGarrett, and on their way back, Joey suddenly sees an exhaust fan on the roof which Marco installed a few days earlier to disperse the lava dust. McGarrett and Joey go up on to the roof ... but how do they do this? Don't they have to go through Marco's store to get to the roof? But Marco is not there, he is in the bank next door via the tunnel with the other two guys, despite the fact McGarrett and Joey just talked to him minutes before. Following this, McGarrett and Joey are seen walking around in the back of store and snooping in the trap door which leads to the bank. Did Marco just leave the front door open or something? McGarrett must be fit to be tied, getting his fancy suit all covered with lava dust by having to crawl through the tunnel! At the end, Marco and his two co-conspirators are arrested, and Joey is cleared when Fryer has a change of heart because of Joey's solving the case or something and the three-man review board commend Joey for his “performance in the last few days.” But Joey didn't solve the case at all, unless Marco confessed to the cops about how he got Teo to blab on Keoki, resulting in Joey’s suspension, etc., etc.!

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219. Descent of the Torches****
Original air date: 10/20/77 --
Plot -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
In one of the series' most Hawaiian episodes, Five-O is called upon to investigate the murder of Charles Underwood (John Hunt), an English archaeologist excavating near King Kamehameha's grave on the Big Island. The script by Alvin Sapinsley, who wrote Skinhead, the Vashon trilogy, One Big Happy Family and Bones of Contention, among others, is intelligent, and combined with some big-scale scenic photography, provides a much different atmosphere than we are used to on Oahu. Geraldine Page plays Philomena Underwood, the dead man's sister and fellow archaeologist. Both she and her brother, whose work is compared to that of the pioneering Leakys in Africa, are very "British," complaining that someone in a "bizarre costume from the past" was harassing Charles. Philomena even refers to radio as "wireless." McGarrett, acting on orders of the Governor, is up against a wall of superstitution and suspicion among locals who feel that the Underwoods are getting too close to what is considered sacred territory, even though their digging is nowhere near the actual gravesite. Professor Kalei (George DiCenzo) from the Department of Anthropology at the University of Hawaii attempts to make sense of it all to McGarrett, who also has Duke trying to investigate touchy material. (The title of the episode comes from a book that Kalei has written.) McGarrett talks to himself while he is analyzing several lengthy Hawaiian names to find the name of the murder suspect. It seems kind of far-fetched how he can get extract Kalei's name from "Kanekaliikuulei." (The other names are Kamakuikahulewa, Koamokumokuoheeia and Kumulukelale.) The ending leaves us wondering who did it.

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220. The Ninth Step**
Original air date: 10/27/77 --
Plot
Gil Gerard gives a very good performance as Marty Cobb, a former HPD cop who screwed up 18 months before during an armored car robbery because of problems with alcohol and was dismissed from the force. Unfortunately, his performance is sabotaged by a mediocre script. Cobb was actually slipped a Mickey Finn by his girl friend at the time, Marvis Tracy (Lynne Ellen Hollinger), which kept him from setting up a roadblock that had some connection to the robbery (exactly what this connection is is never stated). A crook named Vic Salazar (Emilio Delgado -- yes, Luis on Sesame Street), a friend of Mavis, was also involved as was Sakai (Seth Sakai). At the beginning of the show, their co-conspirator Harry Cagel or Kegel (Five-O stuntman Chuck Couch), an employee of Flynn's, the same armored car company, who rigged the truck from the robbery so the exhaust fumes would go into its air conditioning system, absconds with the proceeds from the robbery which he has been keeping in a safe in the wall of his apartment. When he tries to escape from Salazar and Sakai, he drives the wrong way on to a freeway exit ramp, his car flips over, and both he and the money burn up. Salazar and Sakai are so obsessed with fleecing Flynn's again that they take a room across the street from its offices. I don't understand why the two of them are shown driving before Sakai infiltrates the place dressed as a welder while the other employees grab a bite to eat from a lunch wagon. Where do the two of them live -- right across the street! Sakai sneaks around the side of the building from the rear and manages to elude a guard. Then he sneaks inside and fixes the exhaust on another truck like the previous one. He does this in record time, and then presumably leaves the building and no one notices. At the end, Cobb wants to help McGarrett, and, distracting one of Flynn's employees, jumps into this particular truck that Duke was going to drive and pretend to pass out, hoping that Salazar and Sakai will follow him. When Cobb drives past Sakai and Salazar, why don't they recognize him, especially since he is not wearing one of the armored car company employee uniforms?

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221. Shake Hands With the Man on the Moon**
Original air date: 11/10/77 --
Plot
John David Knight (David Palmer), an investigative reporter working on a story about sleazy real estate developer Frank Devlin (Alan Miller), is blown up by a couple of Devlin's thugs just as he is about to reveal some shady dealings of Devlin back on the mainland. Devlin is in Hawaii now, opening a project called Moonstone Ranch Estates, and has hired Richard Royce (James Wainwright), a washed-up Apollo astronaut to help him promote it. Royce looks very old in comparison to Devlin, but Wainwright was born in 1938, whereas Miller was born in 1929! (The Apollo program ran from 1961 to 1975. Two of its most famous astronauts, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, were born in 1930.) Royce has a girl friend Chris Harmon (Christina Hart), who McGarrett describes as young-looking enough to be Royce's daughter (Hart was born in 1949). Kwan Hi Lim plays Ramos, an old cowboy who owns a ranch that Devlin is interested in purchasing. When Devlin's goons murder the old man, Royce, who has taken a fancy to him, is seriously shaken up and figuring out Devlin's complicity in the murder, attempts to get back at him, first by asking for more money and then making a tape of a conversation with Devlin which he intends to take to McGarrett. Royce gets a pretty brutal lambasting from not only McGarrett who calls him "pathetic," saying that Devlin is using him, but also a reality check from Chris, who says he is a "freak" and a "robot." (Chris has been working with Devlin behind the scenes to keep the "Commander" in line.) Royce finally gets enough guts to get his self-respect back at the end. He beats the crap out of Devlin's goons, then throws the developer into a swimming pool and is just about to shoot him, when Five-O appears on the scene, giving McGarrett an excuse for a big speech, saying things like "For God's sake, pick up the pieces." The show would have been much better if Wainwright had not played the role in such a laid-back fashion, but what really kills it is the music by John Cacavas, which is really awful, constantly making banal "heroic" statements which fall totally flat.

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222. Deadly Doubles**
Original air date: 11/17/77 --
Plot -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
A so-so episode about international intrigue at a Honolulu tennis tournament with one of the visiting Russian players, Peter Valchek (Kurt Russell) getting involved in murder and diamond smuggling, while his American counterpart Brent Saunders (Tim Matheson) tries to help Valchek's teammate Katrina Bukowski (Carole Tru Foster) defect. This show is sort of OK if you ignore one big problem, the fact that the Russian characters speak English to each other when there is no need to. For example, Sergei Borzov (Stefan Gierasch), the shifty "cultural liaison" from the local Russian consulate, addresses the defected and in-hiding Katrina on TV in English even though her mother appears and makes a tear-stained plea in Russian. But that's the way things were done "in the old days," not like current shows like Lost which make use of subtitles. The writing in this show is sloppy. Valchek is threatened by Denisovich (Peter Boen), a Russian security officer, about diamonds he brought with him from Amsterdam. Valchek then murders Denisovich, clubbing him with a wrench. Shortly after, Katrina escapes through a skylight in the stadium locker room by climbing up on some shelving. Denisovich's body is found in the shower and the shelving is not there only a few minutes later when Katrina's "matron," who was outside, returns to the room. It is an interesting coincidence that Valchek drags the body into the shower at the exact moment this other action is happening. Was dumping the body in that location part of Peter's plan, and did he know about the exact time of Katrina's defection in advance? It certainly looks like the opportunistic Valchek is trying to set up Saunders as the fall guy for the murder. Later when Valchek meets with a local businessman, ostensibly about the diamonds, the man gives him a suitcase of money and says he wants Peter to make a deposit in a Swiss bank account. The diamonds are nowhere to be seen. This businessman's name is "Mr. Funai," same as actress Helen, who will appear in the show "Invitation to Murder" later this season. Near the end, McGarrett and Borzov play a game of cat and mouse over the phone, with Borzov saying that Valchek is in the consulate while he is actually sitting right in front of McGarrett in the Five-O office. For an all-knowing "member of the intelligence community," one would expect Borzov to be a little more savvy about Valchek's whereabouts. The big "aha" which seals the case against Valchek is the fact that he left footprints in the shower room from two tennis shoes which looked the same on the top, but had different treads on the bottom (talk about a desperate plot device). At the end, there is a scene in front of "The Eastern European Consulates," with Katrina unable to decide whether she wants to return to Russia via Borzov or stay in the USA. When Borzov steps outside of the consulate grounds, McGarrett arrests him for falsifying a phony confession from Valchek. I can imagine Jonathan Kaye will have an aneurysm trying to sort this all out diplomatically.

223. Deep Cover**
Original air date: 12/8/77
The very hot Maud Adams (check the bikini in the opening scenes) plays Maria Noble, the boss of a subversive operation where a Russian double named Michael Trikonis infiltrates a top-secret defense project connected with an anti-missile system as David Harner, a Navy man, both parts played by Dale Robinette. (The show is filmed with the co-operation of both the Navy and Defense Department.) At the beginning of the show, Trikonis comes ashore outfitted in Scuba equipment and starts faking the bends, which gets him admitted to a naval hospital where there is a decompression chamber -- the only one on the islands, something the writer might have mentioned earlier on in the show, rather than making us wait almost 20 minutes to find this out. When he goes into his act, it's surprising that none of the many swimmers on the beach realize Trikonis only started doing this when he came out of the surf, and not before. The plot is moderately interesting for at least three acts, though some details make me wonder, like the exact duplicate of Harner's hospital room which is created in an out-of-the-way house. When Maria knocks off Harner's pal Dominic Rizzo (Joe Moore) at the beginning, she shoots him point blank, but when her stooges pick Rizzo up, there isn't a single drop of blood on his shirt. Later, the stooges have no problem dressing up as orderlies and joining the disguised-as-a-nurse Maria in the hospital where they not only knock Harner out with some drugs, but remove him from the building and substitute Trikonis in his bed without anyone noticing a thing. At the end of act three, Trikonis -- who has been subbing for Harner during various top-secret naval training exercises, and whose "services are no longer required" -- is injected with sodium pentothal, usually known as a "truth serum". Following this, Harner, who has been kept doped up for most of the episode, is "programmed" by the bad guys and returned to duty in scenes which stretch credibility. The main reason this is done is to help cover up the fact that Trikonis' dental work consisted of stainless steel fillings revealing his Commie origins. Harner goes through yet more training exercises, and in the final scene drives zombie-like to the beach where he is to join Maria and her co-conspirators on board a Soviet sub. This doesn't make sense -- would Harner know as much as Trikonis assimilated during the exercises, especially since Trikonis is shot dead shortly after?

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224. Tsunami**
Original air date: 12/22/77 --
Plot -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
Clever students with 130-plus IQs known as "The Brain Trust" who live in a hippie commune-style house engineer a hoax about an impending tidal wave to cover up their robbery of a jewellery store in a plot which has just a few similarities to #26, Forty Feet High, and It Kills. As part of their scheme, they steal a Pacific Ambulance at the beginning of the show and run over an ambulance attendant played uncredited by stuntman Chuck Couch while making their getaway. This causes friction between one of their members, Kenji Tatsumo (Ron Nakahara) and the group's leaders, Ted Bonner (Leigh McCloskey) and Shirley Collins (Ayn Ruymen). Collins looks very similar to Charles Manson follower Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, and is described by Tatsumo as a "thrill crazy chick." When Tatsumo announces he is pulling out of the plan and drives to the Iolani Palace to spill the beans to Five-O, Collins follows him and shoots him dead, right on the palace's front steps. Collins gives a few hints that she is sexually excited by pulling one over on the people of Honolulu on such a grand scale, something the screenwriter might have pursued more fully. As part of their plan, the two Brain Trust leaders enter the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration office where the Tsunami Warning Center is located and force Ron Bradford (Sid Clute) to send out a bogus alert via telex. It will take about two hours for the military to confirm that an earthquake, with resulting tsunami, is really happening, which is just enough time for the other members of the group to pull off the robbery. When the sirens go off for people to get to higher ground, Five-O is ordered by the Governor to help out. This seems unusual -- surely there would be more "professional" people connected with civil defense who would be dealing with stuff like this. As part of a live TV broadcast, McGarrett joins tidal-wave-ologist Dr. Dimitri Sartain (Lyle Bettger), who gives an unconvincing demonstration of the effects of a tsunami using the metal tray from a paint roller. Historical footage is shown of the tidal wave which levelled Hilo in 1960, said to have happened in 1958. McGarrett acts like he is in charge, addressing the TV audience, and Chin Ho and Duke are seen manning the phones nearby in a scene that looks like a charity telethon. The students break into the jewellery store as planned, though you have to wonder why they chose only this one jewellery store, and how did they know in advance that this store had $6 million worth of jewellery for the taking. As part of their scheme, some of the Brain Trust pretend they are cops arresting their members who broke into the store, so the real cops who respond to the jewellery store's alarm won't get suspicious. This demonstrates that they are not only geniuses in geophysics, but also in auto body work, because they manage to paint some car so it looks exactly like an HPD cruiser (even Duke remarks on this). The way McGarrett and Danno put two and two together near the story's end to determine that the Brain Trust is behind the hoax is far too easy, and the closing scene has the typical later season peters-out kind of resolution, despite a few moments in the students' house where McGarrett's blood pressure rises a bit. There are some unanswered questions at the end of the show. For example, where did the students expect to fence all the jewellery? And could the population of Honolulu really have been evacuated (to the extent that there was no one seen driving on local roads) in less than two hours?

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225. East Wind -- Ill Wind***1/2
Original air date: 12/29/77
This episode, directed by Reza Badiyi, begins very similarly to Deep Cover, with a woman trying to get people's attention on a beach over something happening in the water which turns out to be part of a "big conspiracy." This time, what's happening is the murder by drowning of Salgi Sandanarik, a Nobel Prize candidate who spoke out against human rights abuses in his unnamed home country where he was briefly political leader, and now is in exile in Hawaii. A mute woman and friend of his, Kati Parisa (the emaciated-looking Sian Barbara Allen), is a witness to his murder. Kati was tortured by the head of the country's secret police, the dreaded Zadak (Bo Brundin), currently in Hawaii under the alias of "Derek Hoffman," trying to make sure that Sandanarik's message doesn't get delivered to the upcoming Pacific Conference of Human Rights. Brundin's character has a very peculiar accent which sounds Irish. Sandanarik's widow, played by the attractive Marisa Pavan, speaks French. Her character is the sister of Generalissimo Samacara, the current strongman in charge of the country, which adds to the suspense of the episode. Although she attends the funeral and is obviously sympathetic to her husband's cause, some things she says make one wonder if she really is playing both sides of the fence. About Kati, she wonders if she is a witness to her husband's murder or an accomplice. One also wonders why McGarrett trusts her so much to give her information about Kati and another of Sandanarik's pals, Charlie Davilo (Michael Durrell), who has possession of a dossier outlining the abuses back home. McGarrett has a neat scene when he confronts manicurist Helen Macy (Mary-Angela) who was the woman responsible for Sandanarik's "drowning" at the beginning of the show -- but he tells her his office is in the "Ilolani Palace"! Overall, this is one of the better episodes of this season (and there are not many in this category).

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226. Tread the King's Shadow*1/2
Original air date: 1/5/78 --
Plot -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
McGarrett is enlisted to track down Debbie (Deirdre Berthrong), the daughter of the Governor's friend, shipping magnate George Cameron (James B. Sikking). Debbie has been "kidnapped" by a "Kanaka with brown skin," David Kaluna (the David Cassidy-like Michael Mullins), whose mother Sarah (Emma Veary) just happens to be McGarrett's office cleaning lady. McGarrett tells the Governor in no uncertain terms (especially for a later-season episode) he doesn't like being used in this manner, saying that if David went to the snobby Punahou School or belonged to some local country club, Cameron wouldn't be so concerned. The Governor replies, "Nobody's accusing Mr. Cameron of bigotry." Cameron comments to McGarrett that he has "done more for these natives than you or the Governor." (Cameron incorrectly calls the Governor "Phil" during this exchange, by the way.) After Cameron leaves, McGarrett refers to Cameron as "moneybags" and "arrogant." The Governor says McGarrett is "out of line" when McGarrett objects to being his flunky (click on the plot link above for more details) and suggests that the case is "political dynamite," harking back to "the Martin case" forty years before which involved a girl from a prominent family and an island boy. (The reference here is more likely to the notorious Massie Case, where a young Navy wife was gang-raped by several young Hawaiian men.) Debbie, who is not only in love with David, but pregnant by him, escapes from her father who is about to ship her off to a convent school in Switzerland and runs away to the Big Island with her boyfriend. The two of them attempt to start a new life there with the help of David's fisherman Uncle Noah (John Marley). There is a lot of mumbo-jumbo about David's Hawaiian heritage whenever he and his uncle sail past the City of Refuge (Pu'uhonua o Honaunau), a place were those who broke Kapu (taboo) in olden times could be pardoned. The ending is terrible -- after a dramatic confrontation with the young lovers who are now married, Debbie's father just wanders off while McGarrett and Danno utter banalities about how he will feel better when he sees his grandchild! The music by John Cacavas is mind-bogglingly bad -- a sappy main theme for the two young lovers reminiscent of The Carpenters' "Close To You" and some grunting chant-like sounds trying to evoke images of Hawaiian history. This episode would get a much higher rating if the music was better!

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227. The Big Aloha*1/2
Original air date: 1/12/78 --
Plot -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
This episode starts out promisingly. An elderly over-the-hill doctor, Gideon Webb, a legend in his own time described as "haole hao" (iron man), is found shot to death in the ocean. Suspicion falls on John Palahana (Cal Bellini), a younger doctor who was in the process of reporting Webb to his hospital's medical board for negligence which resulted in the death of a patient. There are complications with the doctor's neighbor, Constance Kincaid, played by Eleanor Parker, whose movie career began in the early 1940s. Constance owns a ranch somewhere out in the sticks on Oahu (exactly where is never said), a large concern which raises cattle and also has sugar and pineapple operations. This ranch is located on the waterfront next door to Webb's property, and is so large it has its own hospital, where both Palahana and Webb work. Kincaid is being pressured to donate some of her property to create a public park, and her son-in-law Kelly Trahune (John Reilly) is in league with Paul Weaver (Carleton Smith), who wants to make a multi-million dollar development on adjacent land. There is plenty of local color in the show, ranging from Palahana's mother, played by Irmgard Aluli, who uses expressions like "Maika'i" (good) when talking to her son, the singing of "The Hukilau Song" and Webb's burial on his own property which is where the episode gets its title from. Other examples of local color are specious. For example, when McGarrett grills Palahana on the beach over his involvement with the murder, the younger doctor tells McGarrett, "You're barking up the wrong palm." Julie Kincaid Trahune, Kelly's wife and Constance's daughter, played by the Toni Tenille-like Lara Parker, who also starred in the twelfth season all-time bomb episode A Bird in Hand, uses the expression "Are you out of your coconut?" When Constance tells Palahana to watch his mouth regarding the accusations against Webb at the beginning of the show, he tells her "I am not one of your paniolos [cowboys] any longer," referring to his humble beginnings working on her ranch. The show goes seriously downhill when it ventures off in several directions with too many red herrings. The night before he died, Webb had a mysterious meeting with Julie. He also had a peculiar accounting system where he kept entries in a bankbook for "services rendered" and "services received." Webb found out about the development plans of Trahune (exactly how is not explained), and Trahune arranged with Weaver to knock off Webb with Palahana's shotgun. Trahune is connected to a Hong Kong corporation which wanted to invest in his and Weaver's project after Chin Ho does some sleuthing in Hong Kong, following an ex-HPD private investigator. The investigator is found murdered, but Chin Ho knows an informer who can make the necessary connections to convict Trahune. Adding to the already-thick plot is the fact that Palahana and Julie "did it" when they were younger, and their love child Kai has been raised by one of the ranch hands on the sly without either John or Constance knowing. This past relationship boils to the surface with John and Julie having a loud argument which is interrupted by McGarrett. It turns out that Webb covered up Julie's pregnancy and the birth of Kai, and also falsified the medical report to avoid a scandal after Constance's husband committed suicide by saying that the husband died while cleaning the gun. So it turns out that the saintly Doctor Webb was a hero with "feet of clay," as McGarrett tells the Governor at the beginning of the show. By the time we get to the end, there is far too much information to absorb, and especially considering how bland the villains Terhune and Weaver are, we really don't care much about the peccadillos of these rich folks. The ending, with Terhune trying to anger a temperamental horse to kill Constance, who he has knocked unconscious, and Julie telling McGarrett that it is time to 'fess up about Kai, is majorly disappointing.

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228. A Short Walk on the Longshore**
Original air date: 2/2/78 --
Opening Credits -- End Credits
Anton Krebs (Rod Aiu), a longshormen's union president candidate who is making a lot of noise about corruption on the docks involving the theft of liquor, cigarettes, cosmetics and drugs, is knocked off at the beginning of the show after being interviewed by Les Keiter for KGMB news. McGarrett shows up shortly after wearing cool Felix Leiter-style sunglasses. He seems very edgy, because when he orders Chin Ho and Duke to get on the case in a big way, checking "Hotel Street, bars, betting joints, every place where longshoremen hang out," Chin replies, "That sounds like a week's work to me." Normally, McGarrett would come back with some snappy response, but this time there is nothing. The Governor is under a lot of heat from the current longshoreman's president Jackson Croft (Jim Demarest) who threatens to shut down the port with a strike if Krebs' killer isn't found, because his reputation is being smeared and the outcome of the upcoming election is in doubt, suggesting that Krebs was not the only other candidate. Duke and Chin hang out at some of Honolulu's sleazier spots to get information. (A strip club advertises "Live on Stage: Act of Love" on its marquee.) Chin visits a bar where Melveen Leed makes her first appearance as the smart-talking Sally, and Duke tries to get some information from a hooker who he says he knows has been hustling since she was twelve. Shortly after, McGarrett fakes leaving town, ostensibly for some "family business" in San Francisco, talking about his plans to Danno in a loud voice at the airport. You have to wonder why, since no one seems to be listening. He soon reappears in the low-rent part of town in disguise as "Riley," sporting a wig and moustache and looking like John Beck, star of Nightmare in Blue. (One wonders how he can keep the wig and moustache on, considering what happens next.) McGarrett drinks in this show, which he never does in "real life," and stuffs money down the cleavage of Darlene (Kathy Paulo), a B-girl. His comment to her that he wants nine dollars in change suggests he is kind of cheap with his tip, which is probably only ten dollars. One major problem with McGarrett's "underground" performance in this show is that, aside from the opening scenes where he fights off Beau Van Den Ecker as "The Knife" and then gets drunk with the one-armed Arthur (Michael Conrad), he questions and lectures people just like a cop, rather than playing a character like he did in The Ways of Love. It's also hard to believe that Arthur is the point man for all of the thefts being committed on the waterfront. Through Arthur, McGarrett tracks down Frankie Demara (Sharon Farrell), Krebs' mistress, who has turned into a dope fiend. As he is about to enter Demara's opium den in some ramshackle building, he is stonewalled by a couple of thugs. McGarrett suddenly opens up a door behind him, either trying to escape or distract the thugs, and the place erupts in a full-scale police raid that he had nothing to do with. While trying to escape during the ensuing chaos with Frankie, McGarrett in his Riley persona slugs Danno, nearly breaking his hand. As a result of the raid, McGarrett and Frankie are booked into jail. McGarrett proposes a far-fetched theory that Frankie tipped off the cops, resulting in the raid, and also got involved with opium so she would be assured of being locked up away from people who were after her because of her association with Krebs. After being released from jail, Frankie wants to go back to McGarrett's place where she tells him "we'll make it and then we'll sleep." As he tucks her into bed there, she grabs his hand and pulls it in front of her, seemingly grasping her boob. Script-wise, the remainder of the show goes downhill rapidly. McGarrett is kidnapped by Arthur and a couple of thugs who take him to a shack in some location like Sand Island, because they finally figured out who he really was and were just using him to locate Krebs' girl friend. McGarrett is soon joined there by Frankie, also grabbed by some thugs from her room. Then Nick Gentry (Al Avalon), the big boss who is behind all the corruption on the docks, finally shows up. Gentry, an insignificant character, spends a couple of minutes arguing with Arthur about wasting the two hostages, while McGarrett tries to convince Arthur not to co-operate. As a punk, named "Korean" in the end credits and played by Reggie ("Reginald") Ho, slaps McGarrett in the face, Frankie grabs Korean and pushes him across the room. Grabbing his gun which has fallen to the floor, she shoots both Korean and Gentry and in turn is shot by Gentry himself. Arthur suddenly becomes McGarrett's friend, freeing him from the ropes binding his wrists, and McGarrett holds Frankie as she expires, saying "She's gone." What a dumb ending! At least you can say that Farrell gives an exceptional performance under the circumstances.

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229. The Silk Trap**1/2
Original air date: 2/9/78 --
Opening Credits -- End Credits
Congressman John Richard Carr (David Birney), a "knight in shining armor" who might have a "crack at the White House" in 1984 according to the Governor, is caught in a web of sexual intrigue at a Honolulu beauty contest where he is one of the judges. Why he would even get involved with something like this in the first place is a very good question. He gets hot pants for 19-year-old Miss Malaysia, Jane Kuan (Carmella Letman), and when the two of them are fooling around, he is being filmed and photographed through a one-way mirror disguised as a picture on the room of the hotel room where he meets her. The mastermind behind this blackmail is the Singapore-based "journalist" David Chung (Soon-Teck Oh), who wants Carr to lay off his Washington investigation of Wing Tai Lee, a Malay businessman who is suspected of bribery. Kuan is somehow involved in this plot, and knocks Carr out with some sedative in his drink, but shortly after this, two of Chung's goons toss her off the hotel balcony. The boss of the beauty contest, Andrea King (Shannon Wilcox), is a total bitch. When McGarrett encounters her after Jane's death, he makes a big deal of addressing her as "Ms." (prior to this, he even tells Danno to avoid the term "Miss" when talking to King). King tells McGarrett to "stop being patronizing and tell me what's being done," and later criticizes him for his attitude saying "You're one of those people who think beauty contests are a joke, aren't you?" McGarrett replies, "I didn't mean to be condescending; I was just using a term women [sic] libbers seem to prefer." The motivation for this remark is peculiar -- does McGarrett think that the beauty contest is like a meat market? There is no indication to suggest that King is a "women's libber." I think McGarrett tries to cover up the fact that he has put his foot in his mouth big time, and only makes things worse! Overall, I don't understand why McGarrett acts like such a pussy when he is dealing with King. When he tries to talk to her later, she starts nagging him that "You and your people are disrupting our entire pageant." McGarrett gives her his stock line about how he is conducting a murder investigation, and that he has an obligation to clear up what happened. She replies that she has an "equal obligation to the other contestants." Finally she shuts up. For much of the episode, McGarrett carries on like he is sleepwalking. He finally shows some of the old fire when he drags Chung into his office and brings Carr in to identify Chung as the man who is blackmailing him (asking "Is this he?"). But Carr won't say anything because Chung's goons have kidnapped his wife Kathleen (Penny Kunard) who showed up in Honolulu after she was sent some revealing photos of her husband with Kuan. McGarrett, oblivious to the kidnap scenario, slams the door to his office very loudly, goes ballistic and starts yelling until Carr tells him what is happening. King is later tracked down to hanging out in the same Washington circles as Carr as well as Wing Tai Lee, and she is determined to be in cahoots with Chung. Five-O traces a call from her to the motel where Carr's wife is being held captive, and McGarrett manages to save the day, far too quickly, considering that Carr is about to hold a tell-all press conference. This show has a lot of potential, encompassing such trendy topics as beauty pageants, sexism, international relations, hanky-panky with government types and inter-racial sex. With a bit of tightening up of the script as well as better characterization and acting, it could have been a much better episode.

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230. Head to Head***1/2
Original air date: 2/6/78 --
Opening Credits -- End Credits
Despite the fact that McGarrett delivers most of his dialogue in a hush-hush manner, this is not a bad episode. Once again the top cop has to deal with a fed, specifically justice department agent Al Marsh. He is played by George Grizzard, giving a sympathetic performance as a "little guy" who has been overlooked for promotions and other advancements, even though he has been with the department for over 20 years. Marsh is watching over Jack Fabian (Charles Cioffi), a protected witness "under a grant of immunity," who spilled the beans on some major crime figures on the mainland several years before. Fabian is currently involved in a drug pushing investigation in Hawaii. After he fatally wounds Barney Kamala (Ernest Chan), an undercover cop working with Five-O at the beginning of the show, presumably because he thinks he can literally get away with murder as a result of his federal co-operation, McGarrett is at his wits' end to try and arrest Fabian, who is essentially a "non-person." At one point, Duke and Chin are tailing Eddie Rizzo (John Russo), a gangster friend of Fabian -- as usual, much too closely. When they first start out, they are parked the wrong way on the wrong side of the street. During the pursuit, Rizzo makes a right hand turn according to Chin, but when you see their car following in Rizzo's mirror, they are making a left hand turn (I think)! They are temporarily held up by a moving van from Y. Higa Trucking Service (a real business). After Rizzo has a heart attack while driving, Duke looks in the gangster's wrecked car (license number 3E-1201) and gets showered by a fire hydrant. He finds the gun that Fabian used to kill Barney earlier in the show -- but how does he get the gun out of the car without it getting soaked with water and ruining the fingerprints? Chin later refers to some drugs as "the stuff that dreams are made of." Fabian's girl friend Luana Watkins (Joanne Nail) has a flower shop which is located at 3046 Monsarrat Ave., with the correct ZIP code 96815. Beau Van Den Ecker is the nasty but well-tanned hitman Harry Sunday who tries to knock off Luana.

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231. Tall on the Wave**
Original air date: 3/2/78 --
Opening Credits -- End Credits
Danno, wearing a tank top as well as hideous blue bell bottom pants and high-heeled shoes, is the judge at the Sandy Beach Pro-Am Surfing Classic, where the top prize is $5,000. McGarrett, whose participation in this episode is rather peripheral, cautions Danno to "judge the surfers, not the bikinis." One of the contestants and a friend of Danno's, Ben "Ricochet" Hanakea (Kimo Kahoano) becomes a suspect in the death of his girlfriend Lorca Davidson (Valerie Charles) after the two have a heated argument. Ben, who Danno describes as a "hothead," is referred to by competing surfer Gavin McNabb (David M. Young) as a "no-neck gorilla," a "Kanaka," and a "coconut chaser." The last of these expressions has crucial plot significance when it reminds Lorca's friend and fellow waitress Elaine Sebastian (Lisa Eilbacher) of something she heard on the phone. Gavin and Lorca were previously a number, and when he tries to get their romance back on track, she rebuffs him, uttering the rather unusual expression "Your macho is bleeding." This leads to a fight, with Lorca slipping off a cliff and falling to her death on the rocks below. Ben becomes the number one suspect in Lorca's murder, especially after Gavin plants his shirt that Lorca ripped before she fell in Ben's garbage can. Ben flees into the backwoods of Oahu with the help of a couple of pals and manages to lay low. Both Danno and McGarrett abuse the bitchy assistant D.A. Sunada (Luella Costello), making sure they refer to her as "Ms.," Danno in a very sarcastic fashion. She argues with Danno who speaks up on behalf of Ben, and McGarrett says that Danno should really be removed from the case because of his personal involvement. Interestingly, when Sunada first appears, her dress is similar to that of a Japanese schoolgirl. There are some continuity problems when Danno is chasing Ben by car through a forest near the beach trying to persuade him to give up. Near the end of the chase, Williams' car flies up the air and down into the sand on the beach, revealing major frontal damage (but if you see the car in a shot before it hits the beach, the damage was already there). In the next shot, the front is not only undamaged, but the car seems to be a different model. Just before this, Ben's friends drive Danno off the road, and between two different shots of their car is another which seems to go back into time. The ending is stupid. Ben manages to escape from jail (seriously!) and makes his way to the beach where the surfing competition is being held. Then he swims out to where Gavin is located and the two of them fight. Gavin swims to shore and goes to his place (very close by, I suspect) where Elaine just happens to be snooping in his room to find a picture that proves he and Lorca had a relationship. When Gavin suddenly enters the room, Elaine stabs him with some fishing spear-like device and he pursues her, down exactly the same path above the cliffs where Lorca met her death. Elaine slips and is about to also fall over the edge, and Gavin is going to offer no help because he knows Elaine went to Five-O. Just at this moment, McGarrett and Duke suddenly appear out of nowhere, having managed to figure out exactly where Gavin and Elaine could be found. (This is the second time within a short time frame that Five-O seems to have developed ESP-like powers ... how did they know the escaping Ben would go to the beach to get his revenge on Gavin?) Elaine is not in any danger of falling off the cliff when seen from above, though the camera angle from below suggests things are a little more perilous. The last scene, with McGarrett and Danno saying they'll put in a good word for Ben at the police academy where he wants to be a member of the force (despite his recent lack of co-operation and a past record!) is very sucky, accompanied by some sentimental-sounding music. The stock music accompanying the surfing action is appropriate. There is one interesting cue featuring tuba and muted French horns.

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232. Angel in Blue**
Original air date: 3/9/78 --
Plot -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
At the beginning of the show, a water skier in Honolulu Harbor loses her grip, and as she swims back to her friends' boat, beating what are odds of several thousand to one, she encounters a body floating in the water and screams loudly. The body just happens to be Bradley, a friend of McGarrett's and an HPD cop who was working undercover with Five-O to help crack a dope-smuggling ring run by "Surfer" (Nephi Hannemann) who McGarrett calls "slimy." Bradley's murder prompts McGarrett to get seriously distraught, uttering words to the effect "I got him killed, Danno," which will be heard again soon in the season's final episode. In order to continue the investigation but without using a cop from Oahu, McGarrett flies to Maui where he asks the local chief for a volunteer. When that person is Bates, specifically Valerie Bates (Carol Lynley), McGarrett starts stammering things like, "The case is much too heavy for a lady." She points out that she is more than qualified for the job, saying "I am a damn good cop," and adding, "A woman may be the head of Hawaii Five-O some day." McGarrett, hard-pressed to overcome a serious case of sexism, finally relents. Bates hangs out on the beach at Waikiki and hooks up with Kimo Hameo (Enrique Novi), who works for local mob boss Martin Lynch (Vic Tayback) and Surfer, who are in charge of the incoming $25 million heroin shipment that Bradley was tracking. Bates becomes Kimo's friend almost immediately, and Danno says "She's playing him like a ukulele." Alas, this is far from the truth, as Lynley gives an extremely mediocre performance. The major problem is the role calls for an actress who is playing a policewoman who is also acting the part of a small time crook, and Lynley fails on both levels, acting (literally) in a totally disinterested manner. The script does not help, especially when Bates gets all preachy and tries to get Kimo to abandon his life of crime, saying things like "people will get hurt and the children..." Bates manages to infiltrate Lynch's crowd to the point where she is sunning herself beside his pool and becomes so friendly with Kimo that she meets his mother. Kimo tells Bates that his mother thinks she is okay "for a haole." Although Kimo is part of Lynch's gang because he owes Lynch money, he is also going to smuggle some of the heroin (too much for Hawaii alone) to the mainland in hollowed-out Tiki gods carved by his Uncle Kale. When Bates' cover is almost revealed, Kimo doesn't spill the beans, which leads to a discussion between the two of them with very loud voices on the beach not far from Lynch's house about the fact that she is a cop. There is obvious tailing at the end with McGarrett following Lynch's gang in a helicopter (number N9014F) after the heroin is picked up. Although Bates is supposedly an expert in martial arts, when she fights with Surfer near the end, she is no match for him at all. Lynley almost engenders some sympathy in the last scenes as she sheds a tear over the shot and dying Kimo's body, but it is hard for viewers to respond in kind, considering what a disappointment the rest of her performance is. The episode is directed by Alan Reisner, who did some of the series' best, including Hookman, Skinhead, and Man in a Steel Frame. The writer, Irv Pearlberg, gave us The Bells Toll At Noon!

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233. When Does a War End? [NO STARS!]
Original air date: 3/16/78 -- Plot -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
An execrable show, one of the very worst. Willy Barker (David Dukes) is seeking revenge on Honolulu businessman Yuhio Muromoto (Bennett Ohta), who he feels was responsible for torturing his father to death in 1942 in a Japanese prison camp (shades of #56, The Reunion). At the same time he is bombing companies owned by the "responsible businessman" Muromoto, Barker becomes friendly with the tycoon's daughter Nancy (Donna Benz) who teaches an adult education photography class where he is a student. One wonders why she would even have the remotest interest in him, since he is a creep who drives a taxi for a living and she is a hot-looking high-class society "babe"! Despite knowing him for only a couple of weeks, she actually tells him during an intimate moment "I really like you and I want to share with you." When McGarrett goes to the Japanese consul to snoop into Muromoto's wartime records, Sakata (Tommy Fujiwara) says that when Tokyo was firebombed, "tons of records were destroyed." (This was not the case in the earlier episodes Samurai and The Reunion.) Dukes' acting is unbelievably bad -- whenever he telephones threats to Muromoto, he breaks out in a sweat and acts all twitchy -- but he is joined in the bad acting department by Anne Francis, who plays Alicia Wade, Muromoto's secretary of twelve years, as well as Barbara Kelly as Mrs. Allen, Barker's gum-chewing, slutty landlady. Barker lures the very gullible Nancy to an abandoned building out in the sticks and calls her father (there is a phone in this building?). Barker, who is a Class A nutjob, briefly morphs into his father tied up to a pole in the prison camp in a scene that has to be seen to be believed. Muromoto soon arrives on the scene, and then suddenly Alicia appears out of nowhere, assuming an evil bitch persona and ranting that Muromoto led her on ("I was good enough to make love to"), then decided to marry a woman named Sumiko who is supposed to be arriving from Japan soon. The big question is -- how did she and Barker know each other to plot this scheme in the first place? (Alicia found a picture in a book about the war where one of the characters resembled Muromoto, which she then gave to Barker with a signed inscription -- "May our hunt be successful.") McGarrett and Danno follow Muromoto with the help of a helicopter which can see Muromoto's rear license plate (D1803A) that is conveniently bent upwards. As Danno and Steve approach the building in their car, of course no one can hear them, and McGarrett "just happens to have" some wire cutters in the trunk which enable the Five-O duo to easily enter the "compound" from behind the building where Muromoto and his daughter are tied up. (It looks like it would actually take quite a while to cut through this fence.) Then there "just happens to be" a box of hand grenades nearby and McGarrett gets Danno to explode one as a distraction. The final scenes are appalling -- the "programmed" Barker, in combat gear, instead of bayonetting Muromoto, goes into a crouch which looks like he has diarrhea. I wish he would have stabbed Francis, whose wretched performance is reminiscent of a bad high school drama production. But we're not over yet -- there is McGarrett's final big speech to reporter Joe Boyd (Joshua Bryant) who has been dogging him throughout the case: "It's not the real story ... the real story is about people who can't let go of hate and what hate does to them and others ... When do all wars end? When people stop hating and start loving." Bryant asks: "You think that'll ever happen?" to which McGarrett replies, "It better ... oh God, it better." Augh! What crap! At least the music by Cacavas is much better than usual for this composer, but not enough to save this train wreck of a show..

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234. Invitation to Murder**
Original air date: 3/23/78 --
Plot
This show is "different," with an Agatha Christie-like plot, but it gets pretty boring at times. Jack Lord seems to be delivering a lot of his lines in slow motion, sort of like a plumber who is dragging out a job to make more money! In this show, once again McGarrett gets involved in the affairs of rich people, but this time it's not at the request of the Governor but instead the lawyer for the Barlow family, Malcolm Rhodes, played by Lyle Bettger, who has three different roles this season including Jonathan Kaye. The autocratic patriarch of the family, Addison Barlow, a well-known local artist, passed away recently, and the money from his estate is not to be distributed until a year after Rhodes reads the will. The way the will is worded has nasty comments about all the beneficiaries, guaranteeing they will try and knock each other off to increase their share of the money. They start dropping off as soon as the will is read, with Addison's sister Laura keeling over, the victim of poison. It's handy that McGarrett is present while this is going on, but he doesn't have an explanation for being there, even when grilled by Addison's brother-in-law and Laura's husband David Thorpe (Anthony Caruso). Next to go is Lawrence (Francis Kamahele), Addison's young son by his young-looking wife Riah (Helen Funai). Lawrence is a heavy gambler and sells his father's paintings to the swishy art dealer Benileha (Sidney Lassick). Then he substitutes forgeries done by his cousin Carolyn (Valerie Charles), another artist in the family who committed suicide at the beginning of the show after she thought she was infected with some Parkinson's-like disease. Lawrence is tailed in an absurdly close manner by Danno and Chin Ho, and goes to the house of his sister Eugenie (Christina Kokubo) to switch his car for her Jaguar XKE. After this, while attempting to get away from the Five-O duo, he drives his car off a cliff. The continuity in this sequence is extremely bad. First, he is seen driving down a single-lane middle-of-nowhere road which is very narrow, but then it turns into two lanes with a white line in the center and there are cars that Lawrence has to avoid, whereas a few seconds before there were none. As the car plunges over the cliff, it is obvious that there is no one in the driver's seat, but when Danno and Chin check the car at the bottom, Danno looks inside and says "He's dead." When Danno gets to the car, there is a bunch of grass from the hillside sticking up out of the bottom, but when the car is seen in a long shot after it stops rolling down the hill, as well as in post-crash scene photos, this clump of grass is not there. It turns out the car's steering wheel was tampered with, making McGarrett surmise that someone wanted to knock off Eugenie (who was estranged from her father), not Lawrence. But wasn't the real reason that Lawrence died was because he was trying to outrun Danno and Chin who were tailing him? McGarrett is totally stumped by who is behind the rash of poisonings and other clever ways of eliminating people, even stopping his car while driving with Danno to have a "philosophical moment," gazing at the view near the spot where Lawrence met his death. Finally McGarrett realizes at the end (BIG SPOILER COMING) that it was Addison Barlow himself who plotted the complicated demise of his relatives, all of whom he detested. The classical-sounding score in this show is by Walter Scharf, and it is both sparse and strange compared to typical Five-O music.

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235. Frozen Assets**1/2
Original air date: 3/30/78 --
Plot
This episode, directed by Five-O title designer Reza Badiyi, introduces the "old biddy" Millicent Shand (Mildred Natwick), author of 34 Hercule Poirot-like mystery novels. A childhood pal of the Governor's (she calls him "Sonny"), she is investigating a fishy cryogenics organization run by Kenneth Kirk (Peter Lawford) where one of her friends, the terminally ill Elizabeth Hubbard, died under mysterious circumstances as she was thinking of leaving the outfit. The Kirk Foundation is like a retirement home where people with terminal illnesses live out their final days in deluxe accommodation, including gourmet meals, and when they die, their bodies are frozen, to be brought back to life later when advances in medicine can deal with their conditions. Typically, these people leave large amounts of money to the foundation to take care of maintaining their bodies in a frozen state. After listening to Mildred's suspicions in the Governor's office, McGarrett approaches Kirk, telling him some outright falsehoods, including one that Elizabeth's lawyer contacted Five-O about her death, requesting an autopsy. When McGarrett talks to Kwan (Kwan Hi Lim), someone connected with the Attorney-General's office (or is he supposed to be the Attorney General himself?), he is told that an autopsy is out of the question, because it would interfere with the cryogenics process, and the case might eventually end up in the U.S. Supreme Court. In addition to Kwan, there are numerous Five-O stock 5-0 actors -- Lou Richards, Tommy Fujiwara, Jimmy Borges, Daniel Taba and Winston Char (who plays "Dr. Char"). John Fitzgibbon is Kirk's oily assistant Norman Pryce. The episode is pretty good, with the exception of a sequence where Danno and Duke disguised as power company repairman infiltrate the foundation to spy on the resusciation of a frozen corpse for Mildred's benefit. They walk into the amphitheater-like thawing room as the procedure is taking place and no one pays the slightest attention to them. Exactly where they are standing at the top of room is difficult to figure out, because in long shots and when the camera pans, you can't see them anywhere. I suspect they are up on the left, but if they are, you would think that Pryce would see them since he is looking at Millicent who is on his right. There are also continuity problems with some of the people in the audience on the left side. What is even more peculiar is what created the power failure that brought Danno and Duke there in the first place and how they were capable of "fixing" it. After they return to the Five-O office, McGarrett is incredulous over the things they saw: "What have you two been smoking? You're out of your gourds!" John Cacavas' use of English-sounding music to accompany Millicent, including a harpsichord, is appropriate, as is the creepy background he provides when she tours the body room. The first "wave" before a commercial does not have ominous music!

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236. My Friend, the Enemy**1/2
Original air date: 4/13/78
Luciana Paluzzi stars as Liana Labella ("the beautiful"), an Italian scandal-mongering journalist probably based on Oriana Fallaci, who discovers a plot to kidnap the wife of Middle Eastern prince and "divine ruler" Rashid (Aharon Ipalé) who is visiting Hawaii. The kidnapping itself is handled in a dumb fashion. Paul Roberts (Bruce Wilson), one of the bad guys, is supposed to take Rashid's wife, the Princess Amina (Darrah Lau) from her yacht to the Governor's garden party in a Four Star Limousine. (The actual chauffeur was murdered and dumped in the harbor.) But instead, he drives her to some out-of-the-way location above Honolulu on a dead end street. There his co-conspirator Derek Franklin (Geoffrey Heise), a European racing driver working in cahoots with the prince's first wife Jemilla (Kathryn Leigh Scott), is redirecting traffic. (It turns out that Franklin is the current boy friend of Jemilla, who was "scorned" by the prince since she couldn't produce an heir to the throne.) The setup for the kidnapping is silly. First, a woman named Eleanor, who was seen on a yacht near the prince's at the beginning of the show, drives near the kidnapping scene with a friend but is turned away by Franklin, who is acting like a traffic cop. Eleanor is also going to the governor's garden party via this peculiar route, but her presence in this scene is necssary only so Five-O can later get her to help create a police sketch of Franklin. Soon after, at the the dead end, Roberts pretends there is something wrong with the limousine's engine, just as Franklin drives up and Roberts says words to the effect, "Oh, this gentleman can help us or give us a push." (A push to where? They are at the end of a dead-end street!) You would suspect the princess's bodyguard Ali would figure things out long before this, but he is clueless, and also ends up murdered. Labella seems to have free run of the Honolulu Star-Bulletin office and darkroom, despite the fact she is a visiting journalist and no one pays much attention to her when she enters the building. The Star-Bulletin seems like kind of a Mickey Mouse operation, since the sports editor, classified ads department and city desk are all in the same area. This allows Roberts to try and get film identifying him as one of the kidnappers by coming to the paper, placing a classified, and then, totally oblivious to everyone in the room, walking into a nearby darkroom, where he threatens Labella with a gun! Duke just happens to be nearby and hears her screaming. He gets a faceful of photographic chemicals thanks to Roberts as he enters the darkroom. When Duke returns to the Five-O office later, relatively unscathed, McGarrett is very sympathetic. The episode see-saws back and forth between comic and serious, with uneven results.When Danno meets McGarrett returning from a police chiefs' conference at the beginning of the show, he talks about seeing Labella on "the Mike Douglas show" and then says she covers "all the beautiful ... uh ... people ... in the ... in the ... beautiful places." This stumbling over his words is probably because Danno has hot pants for Labella. McGarrett scowls, telling Danno "get back to the facts before your libido is excited." Later, when Labella meets Danno, she refers to him as a "handsome young man." McGarrett warns Danno about mixing business with pleasure and Danno replies, "You know me, Steve." McGarrett counters, "That's exactly why I mentioned it." This show features a female judge who McGarrett bribes with a bag of doughnuts. McGarrett reveals his sexist side while verbally sparring with Labella, muttering "Women!" after she calls the Five-O team stupid. She goes on, "Do you still deny that you invaded me?" He says, "I beg your pardon?" She replies, "My room ... my room...," referring to Five-O's snooping there. (Her choice of the word "invaded" which causes McGarrett to do a double-take is peculiar, considering she uses a lot of other hip lingo that one would not expect from a "foreign" journalist.) At the end, McGarrett invites Labella to dinner. She says, "I behaved like an idiot." McGarrett responds, "Never argue with a lady." If a bit more care had been taken with the kidnapping sequence, this would be a top-notch episode, because in addition to the various issues dealing with sexism, there are others concerning freedom of the press, the "no shield law," and a reporter's right to protect their sources.

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237. A Stranger in His Grave*1/2
Original air date: 4/27/78
Aside from the presence of the sexy Laraine Stephens as Katie Kealoha, this episode involving land speculation and switched bodies is dull and complicated and not helped by Andrew Prine's whiny, ineffectual performance as the bad guy, Richard Chadway. Katie owns a large ranch somewhere on Oahu, similar to Constance Kincaid in this season's The Big Aloha. She inherited this property, which includes thoroughbred horses, after her husband Frank was killed in an auto accident several months earlier. Her new boyfriend Chadway's past is mostly a blank, but this is intentional, since it turns out at the end he is actually a U.S. Treasury Agent named Sloan investigating money laundering who turned to the "dark side." Katie's foreman Eddie Clark (Ted Markland), who has only been with her a few months, is also another character about whom we know little, though he is also in on the crooked action. Wheeler-dealer Nelson Bodine, who drives a car even bigger than McGarrett's and is also one of the suspects, is played by John Hillerman in an oily fashion. He has been put up to fleecing Katie out of her ranch by Sloan who knew all the angles to do this, acting in a near-anonymous fashion and only contacting him by mail and phone. The burned body of Katie's husband Frank is discovered by accident at the beginning of the show, and things get soon get very complicated -- as McGarrett says, "You can't tell the players without a score card." It is interesting that Katie was able to identify Frank's body from possessions like his watch, ring and belt buckle when it was not her husband at all, but some other guy named Crayton involved in all the shady dealings with Bodine and Sloan/Chadway who was much older and much heavier than Frank. When Bodine pays Katie for her ranch with cash (a suitcase containing $3.5 million), meeting her in the middle of nowhere, you have to wonder why Katie doesn't immediately put two and two together. How is she supposed to deposit all that money in the bank without arousing any suspicion? McGarrett is far too clever in this show, connecting a call with Jonathan Kaye about the missing Sloan to the case with Katie and her dead husband. Not only is there a McGarrett moment of "maybe ... maybe," but another of "suppose" where he figures out that Chadway is really Sloan. There are several instances of lame humor in this show. There is the usual exchange when Danno tells McGarrett about the number of dentists that he and the other Five-O guys are going to have to check out. During this investigation, Danno fakes having a toothache when he barges into a dentist's office in front of the waiting patients. Later, McGarrett makes a bet with Danno that a suspect will be identified by the coroner, a bet which McGarrett loses. And McGarrett takes a glass and knife from a restaurant where he has met Chadway to check for fingerprints and his waitress (Laura Sode, later the Five-O receptionist) wonders if he has some kind of unusual fetish. Back at the office, McGarrett makes a big deal out of paying the restaurant for these items to Lani, the current receptionist. The music in this episode is stock, and not particularly well chosen, such as in the scene near the beginning where Bodine meets Senator Balford (Ed Sheehan). The misuse of music in this scene is nothing compared to the motivation as to why Balford's wife suddenly gets hot pants for Bodine. Is this an attempt to make Hillerman's character out to be a stud or something? Later Bodine is having some babe in a bikini named Coco give him a massage by walking on his back as he lays on a massage table outside his beachfront house!

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238. A Death in the Family***
Original air date: 5/4/78 --
Plot (summary by M.Q.); Plot (summary by Reg Jones)
Chin Ho meets an ignominious end in this episode, getting shot dead while he is taking part in an operation in Chinatown. Chin is the only operative that Five-O has working, which is surprising because he is "one of the state's top law-enforcement officers" whose face should be very familiar to local crooks after working for Five-O for at least ten years. Pretending to be the nephew of a pool hall owner, Chin says he is originally from San Francisco, but his cover is blown almost immediately when he is grabbed by two punks and taken to visit enforcer Jimmy Rego (Reni Santoni). Chin's body is dumped in front of the Iolani palace as two tourists watch in horror. McGarrett cries in the corner as he talks about Chin's death.and says, "I shouldn't have let him go undercover ... he was too well-known." Danno replies with, "You know how suspicious those Chinese merchants are." Chin's daughter Suzy (Jean Marie Hon) arrives from San Francisco and we learn that Chin's wife died some time before. There is no mention of Suzy's other brothers and sisters who are shown in the earlier episode Cry, Lie. McGarrett tells Suzy -- whom he addresses as "honey" at one point -- that the Five-O team is "the only family I know." One wonders why McGarrett has to explain to Suzy that Caucasians in Hawaii are called "haoles" -- surely she would know this! Suzy's character development leaves a lot to be desired. Manu Tupou gives a classy performance as Cappy Pahoa, godfather of the kumu (Hawaiian mafia) who is equally perturbed by Chin's murder. His right-hand man, Billy Swan (Vic Malo), will appear in future episodes when the kumu boss is Tony Aleka (Ross Martin). Pahoa's daughter Kini is played by Elissa Dulce Hoopai in one of her more dramatic Five-O performances. Kini is a former school chum of Suzy, and Rego's girl friend. When hanging out with the two of them, Suzy gets to snoop around Rego's hotel room, almost getting herself in trouble. (How she knows that Rego is connected with her father's murder is not established until late in the show.) At one point, she puts herself in extreme danger by leaping from one hotel balcony to another to break into Rego's room from outside and get the murder weapon which she then takes to McGarrett. (A defense attorney would have a field day with the chain of evidence in this case, considering Suzie doesn't work for Five-O.) When McGarrett confronts Rego in his office, he tells Jimmy in a classic exchange, "Don't you ever call me 'cop'. The name is McGarrett and the title is 'Mister'." (Click here to hear this clip.) McGarrett's final words to Pahoa are, "One day we'll meet again," which unfortunately never happens. When he finally confronts the weasel-like Rego at the end, after beating the crap out of him and threatening him with a gun, McGarrett says, "I want to book this one ... I think that Chin would have liked that."

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