Copyright ©1994-2010 by Mike Quigley. No reproduction of any kind without permission.
= A truly outstanding episode. = One of the very best episodes, a must-see. = Better than average, worthy of attention. = Average, perhaps with a few moments of interest. = One of the very worst, a show to avoid.
The governor asks McGarrett to investigate the island porno industry to determine if footage in certain videos was faked. Watch carefully for the closeups on the governor's video collection which reveal "Property of Paul Jameson" stamped into the leather binding. Five-O Receptionist: Annette Haven. Chief of Police: John Holmes. Sea Life Park Attendant: Seka.
McGarrett and Danno investigate unscrupulous practices at a colonic therapy clinic. Guest star is Orson Welles as Dr. Colin Procto. At one point, McGarrett refers to Procto as "the perpetrator of heinous crimes," misprounouncing the word so the "h" is silent!!
This show gives fuel to the controversy over whether Jack Lord wore a hairpiece. According to a source connected with the show that I cannot reveal, Lord did wear a hairpiece, and it got lost. As a result, the Five-O writers quickly came up with this episode where McGarrett's barber (played by Robert Witthans) notices that his customer's hair is thinning very badly. Investigation by Doc and Che Fong reveals that McGarrett's food has been contaminated with plutonium which is causing the hair loss. Five-O under the direction of McGarrett (who shows no sign of losing his stamina despite the radioactivity) manages to determine that Honore Vashon, operating from his prison cell, is the mastermind behind this insidious plot. In a manner as absurd as the way plutonium is dealt with in #132, Anybody Can Build a Bomb, McGarrett recovers from this threat to his life as if he was getting over a bad cold!
In this relatively light-hearted episode, Danno is a judge at a beauty contest. Only near the end of the contest does he realize that one of the contestants (the one he is favoring) was an old girl friend of his. In flashback scenes, Danno is seen years before with his former love as she escorts a group of blind children to a revival screening of "Birth of a Nation" at the Oahu Theatre as part of her community service.
Johnny Kling (Rich Little) is released from the Oahu Psychiatric Hospital (see #203, The Bells Toll at Noon), only to steal a gun and break into the Five-O offices. There he threatens McGarrett while doing lame imitations of James Cagney and Elvis Presley. As Elvis, he threatens to "belt" McGarrett.
Wanda Wiggleston commits suicide after discovering that her surfboard is stolen, only two days prior to a surfing competition at which she was expected to take major honors. Of course, McGarrett doesn't believe for a moment that she killed herself. After the usual detailed investigation, the killer is revealed to be a Pakistani holy man who has been running a cult-like organization in Hawaii for the last several years, and who lived just down the street from Wanda. McGarrett determines that Wanda was one of the cult's recent members. Aside from inconsistencies with his alibi around the time of the murder, the clincher clue is fragments of a Kashmir sweater owned by the holy man which were found under Wanda's fingernails.
In this now-suppressed episode, McGarrett, despondent over the death of his girlfriend Cathi Ryan (see #204, Man in a Steel Frame) abandons his usual health food diet of dates, figs, wheat germ and yogurt, and attempts to commit suicide by overeating. Chin Ho and Danno tail McGarrett (as usual, much too closely) as the Five-O boss goes on a binge at ice cream stands along Waikiki Beach and then creates a scene at the Tahitian Lanai luau, where he eats an entire roast pig. The sequence where McGarrett eats a pound of lard is disgusting. There is a rumour that someone "tried this at home" and killed themselves, perhaps one of the reasons the episode is no longer seen.
Kurt Russell stars as Vladimir Mudack, manager of the Royal Moscow Ballet, which is giving several performances in Honolulu. Mudack wants to defect to America, but after trying unsuccessfully to negotiate with the U.S. State Department and being constantly harassed by the KGB cops that are accompanying him everywhere, he knocks out a guard (Robert Luck) at the Aloha Tower where the ballet troupe is sightseeing. Mudack takes the guard's gun and escapes to the top of the tower, where he starts to fire indiscriminately at people on the ground below. McGarrett has his hands full when a rookie cop (Richard Yniguez) thinks he can deal with the situation better than Five-O. There are reports that Bishop Desmond Tutu, who was attending a conference in Hawaii when this show was filmed, can be seen in one of the crowd scenes.
After nine years, Soviet military bigshot Mischa Toptegan is still furious. During his last visit to Hawaii (see #88 & #89, The Ninety-Second War), McGarrett brought him tea in a cup rather than a glass during a farewell party. Toptegan orders a strike with a special limited-power ICBM which will reduce the Iolani Palace to the "world's smallest parking lot" (the Russian phrase he uses is difficult to translate). This upsets Wo Fat who is on the loose, because Wo wants to have the pleasure of eliminating McGarrett himself. (Check the rarely-seen lost 12th season finale, "Go, Fat, Go!" where Wo escapes from jail). Wo and his henchmen make plans to remove McGarrett from his office where he has been working non-stop for 3 weeks. Ghost of Chin Ho Kelly: Sir Alec Guinness.
A woman takes a doctor hostage in his downtown Honolulu office after her lawsuit against him for botched plastic surgery on her breasts is thrown out of court. The writing in this episode is pretty awful. McGarrett is out of town investigating a consortium of bogus aloha shirt makers in Taiwan. During one phone conversation to Danno, who is in charge of the investigation, Steve blurts out, "Danno, don't be such a boob!" (The quality of the long distance call is terrible, as usual.)
McGarrett suspects that mob boss Tony Alika (Ross Martin), recently released from prison on a technicality, is importing contaminated silicone used for transplants by Honolulu plastic surgeons. Danno is sent out to investigate topless dancers on Hotel Street. Mitzi: Carol Doda.
Leslie Nielsen stars as Carmella Farraday, a transvestite interior decorator who is miffed when (s)he doesn't get the contract to redo the Hawaii Five-O office. (S)he decides to "take the law into her own hands," tying up the entire Five-O team with drapery cord.