Five-O Oddities, Goofs, Trivia -- Season 2

Copyright 1994-2012 by Mike Quigley. No reproduction of any kind without permission. Original air dates are taken from information supplied by the Iolani Palace Irregulars and Karen Rhodes' Booking Five-O.


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OUR RATINGS:
**** = One of the very best episodes, a must-see.
*** = Better than average, worthy of attention.
** = Average, perhaps with a few moments of interest.
* = One of the very worst, a show to avoid.
24. A Thousand Pardons -- You're Dead!****
Original air date: 9/24/69 --
Plot -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
SEASON 2!

This is a very good "contemporary issues" show.

Army Sergeant Simms (Harry Guardino), bar owner Betsy (Barbara Nichols) and municipal employee James Watanu (James Hong) all participate in a scam forging marriage certificates so local bar girls who work for Betsy will receive G.I. benefits after soldiers who are their bogus husbands are killed in Vietnam. But Simms, who was the mastermind behind the scheme, later murders the women, motivated by feelings for his soldier brother who died in Nam after a similar encounter with a gold-digging prostitute. Anna Stockton Shroder (Loretta Swit) is the most recent victim in the teaser.

After Anna's death, McGarrett grills Betsy, who knows him well. He lights her cigarette and says "I need some answers, Betsy baby." In the Five-O office, McGarrett uses his transparent board. In addition to Anna's name, there are the names of two previous victims -- Maria Apu Anderson and Sheila Gordon McKay.

Because it looks like Yoko Collins (Barbara Luna), another of Betsy's girls, is withholding information about her former roommate Anna, Danno goes undercover as a G.I. named Danny Carson. He drinks heavily with Yoko and she takes him home to her apartment where they quite likely "do it." Danno seems to get into his role in a big way, judging by the hangover he has in McGarrett's office the next morning. Luna gets my nomination as Top Five-O Guest Star Babe -- she is totally hot! When the two of them are frolicking on the beach soon after, she tells Danno, "Don't expect me to act like Miss All-American choir girl from Nebraska ... or wherever it is you're from." She also tells him "You had me feeling like I was 16 all over again." Danno gives her several big kisses. Luna in a bathing suit is sexy, but even more so later on with her clothes on as she taunts Simms: "I think I'm in the mood for a screwdriver."

After Kono goes to the Bureau of Records at City Hall where Watanu works and inquires about Anna, Watanu, who gulps medication for a heart condition, starts to freak out. Simms picks up Watanu outside Betsy's, and the camera is at weird angles. Simms drives Watanu out to a location near Diamond Head which will appear in more than one episode later in both the old and new Five-O series. When the very nervous Watanu starts to show the signs of a heart attack, Simms takes his medicine and throws it away, leaving Watanu by the side of the road to die. Later, when confronted by McGarrett about Watanu's death with a piece of a tire tread from the murder scene, Simms says "I don't have any Jap friends, Mr. McGarrett." (How McGarrett connects this piece of evidence to Simms' Jeep -- which has the license number T-8644 -- is not made clear.) Simms subsequently refers to Watanu as "This Jap ... excuse me, this Japanese gentleman...." McGarrett spars verbally with Simms around a pool table in a classic scene which is very interestingly photographed.

After Danno's undercover work is a flop because he is too pressing and persistent with his questions to Yoko, McGarrett meets with her, asking her to help them catch Simms. She initially tells him to get lost, but then changes her mind. Subsequently, she meets with Simms at the bar, telling him she wants to "make a little deal": "I know how it worked. Anna told me all about it." When Simms tells her that he can't do the scam because he lost his "contact at city hall," Yoko says, "You don't need a contact ... and it's one less pocket to feed." She shows Simms a marriage license, saying she is "married, all nice and legal," but to a soldier who died in action. ("My hero husband went off and got himself killed and didn't leave me any insurance. Now for some girls that would be a terrible thing but for me, it's a real tragedy.") Five-O obviously had this bogus license created in co-operation with the records bureau at City Hall and the Army, who could provide the name of a soldier who was killed. All that Simms has to do is create the paperwork for the insurance.

Simms does the paperwork, and Yoko gets the money. She picks it up at the bank and arranges for Simms to come to her apartment to get it. He is supposed to take his share and give Yoko her cut, but he angrily tells her how his brother died for "trash like her" and forces Yoko to leave with him, intending to kill her like the other women.

The cops' blasting of Simms at the end is unusually violent. Aside from the fact there is no blood whatsoever, there are continuity problems as pointed out by "Betty Boop": "Looks like they had to re-shoot the last scene where Sgt. Simms gets shot (to put it lightly) for whatever reason, and there wasn't time for a change of clothes. His uniform is soaked before ever hitting the pavement. Then, in the scene where he is lying on the ground his uniform is drier than when he was standing."

Weird "crappy rock music" during a scene at Betsy's bar is later used in #90, Skinhead. The very effective score for this episode won Morton Stevens an Emmy as did his score for #121, Hookman (the only two Emmys which Five-O ever won). The score is both "composed and conducted" by Stevens, according to the end credits.

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25. To Hell with Babe Ruth [NO STARS!]
Original air date: 10/1/69
An unbearably awful show, the title of which comes from an expression which Japanese soldiers would reportedly say in English to anger American soldiers during World War II. Seriously -- the negative and all prints for this show should have been burned, and Bored She Hung Herself (not a particularly good show, but much better than this one) included on the second season DVD set! The major problem is the two Caucasian actors, Mark Lenard and Will Kuluva, playing Japanese characters in lead roles. Surely there must have been two Asian actors capable of taking these parts! The lead role of Yoshio Nagata, who has escaped from a mental hospital after being held there for 28 years since Pearl Harbor, would no doubt have been very difficult to cast, since the actor would have had to be (a) Asian/Japanese, (b) old (in his late 40's or early 50's), (c) agile (capable of ninja-like moves) and (d) convincing in spouting a lot of anti-American, nationalistic-Japanese rhetoric. I have no idea why the producers chose Mark Lenard (of Star Trek fame) to portray Nagata -- he doesn't fill any of this bill with his jerky movements, hideous orange makeup (in some shots he looks more like a burn victim) and terrible accent (when he speaks Japanese, even my Japanese wife had difficulty understanding him). However, he pales in comparison (no pun intended) beside Will Kuluva as Yuko Takuma, the Japanese clock shop owner! Kuluva already appeared in Asian guise as Philip Lo in #9, By The Numbers, an equally wretched performance. At Nagata's hideout, Chin Ho lights a candle which fills the already well-lit room with brightness. The ending of this show is ridiculous. In order to find Nagata with his ticking time-bomb, McGarrett enlists the help of a military team with highly sensitive microphones to check an oil-tank farm in Honolulu. How they can hear the ticking with the din of traffic in the background, not to mention the clump-clump of army boots on the metal walkways, staggers me. (When they do hear the ticking, the microphone seems to be beside the concrete base of the oil tank, not the tank itself.) As well, the microphones can't pick up the screaming of Nagata's daughter Heather (Virginia Wing), who he has taken hostage. I like the way McGarrett disables the bomb with his fingernail clipper. Tom Fujiwara puts in his first Five-O appearance as Jerry Minobe, a martial arts instructor. I don't know why he pronounces shuriken (the super-sharp pointed Ninja throwing star) as shuriking, though. Yankee Chang appears uncredited very briefly when the Five-O crew are analyzing some old maps. The music by Harry Geller is full of annoying "orientalisms," but at least they are not too offensive.

There are some interesting parallels between this show and the third episode of Hawaiian Eye (a precursor to Five-O by about 10 years -- in fact, the earlier episode was broadcast almost exactly 10 years before). The Hawaiian Eye episode, written by Steven Ritch, is entitled "Second Day of Infamy". Yatto Mitsuki, a Japanese officer, was part of an espionage team which landed in Hawaii before Pearl Harbor. After a confrontation with the local authorities at the time, he received a head wound which resulted in amnesia. He has been confined to the Oahu Mental Hospital ever since, and when he escapes at the beginning of the show, Hawaiian Eye (a Honolulu detective agency) is hired to find him. Mitsuki doesn't know that the war is over, and when he sees the the Pacific fleet is no longer in Pearl Harbor, he wants to warn the Japanese authorities, figuring he will be handsomely rewarded. After escaping from the hospital, Mitsuki tries to track down his former contacts, but is unsuccessful, except for his old girl friend Sumiko Natago (played by Miiko Taka, whose main claim to fame was as the love interest of Marlon Brando's character in the movie Sayonara). Stealing some dynamite from a construction site, Mitsuki tries to blow up a fuel depot, but is stopped in the nick of time. One big difference with this earlier show is the lead is actually played by a Japanese character actor -- Yuki Shimoda, who does a very good job. Five-O regular Doug Mossman also appears in this episode as Marty, the security guard at the Hawaiian Eye office (a recurring part).


26. Forty Feet High and It Kills!****
Original air date: 10/8/69 --
Opening Credits -- End Credits
An outstanding show, with Wo Fat (Khigh Dhiegh) making his first appearance during the series itself. McGarrett defines Wo as a "Red Chinese agent in charge of the entire Pacific Asiatic theatre." Will Geer plays the cantankerous Dr. Harold Lochner, a genetics genius who Wo wants to kidnap and take back to China to become the boss of the "Institute for Genetic Engineering at Peking." The interaction between Lochner and Wo is delightful -- Lochner tells Wo: "I think you are a maniac." When he calls the evil agent "Mr. Fat", Wo flinches. Near the beginning of the show, McGarrett hustles Lochner's daughter Victoria (the extremely attractive Sabrina Scharf) at the beach in Honolulu where they watch people surfing. There are a few questions, of course. If the weather institute at the beginning is so important, why aren't there guards outside as well as inside? Why is Five-O involved in the tsunami warning prior to any suspicion of sabotage? When Chin Ho captures Wo's first agent, why does Chin have to use a dime for the phone to call an ambulance? (Someone suggested this was because in Honolulu at that time you needed a dime to get a dial tone ... not very practical in an emergency! Chin dials five numbers, by the way.) Although the pharmacy where Lochner got his insulin was in the "Japanese section" of Honolulu, why does the proprietor speak Chinese? (The pharmacy is near the corner of Campbell (a real street in the area known as Kaimuki) and "Mohua" ... maybe they mean "Mooheau", which is in the same area as Campbell ... but it doesn't actually cross it.) And if Wo wants to find out the brand of insulin and where Lochner got it, why doesn't he just check the label of the insulin bottle that Lochner smashed? Oh well, never mind ... the final confrontation between McGarrett and Wo is a classic. McGarrett tells Wo, "Someone handed you the wrong fortune cookie." During the pursuit by various cop cars from the pharmacy to the docks, McGarrett plots the action on his transparent map. Almost all of the street names where McGarrett keeps directing the cars are bogus. Herman ("Duke") Wedemeyer appears very briefly in this show as a police dispatcher and bald-headed Bill Bigelow ("William F. Bigelow II" in the credits) plays Padway, host of the genetics conference. Winston Char plays Ling Po, identified in the credits as "First Chinese," and Gary Ah Vah is "Second Chinese." Wright Esser, who was the nasty boat captain in the pilot, is Crighton. The car driven from the pharmacy by Wo's second agent has plate number 6942 according to Chin Ho -- but when the license is actually seen, it is IB-9694. During one scene, Wo Fat smokes a cigar. The music by Shores is very good.

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27. Just Lucky, I Guess****
Original air date: 10/15/69
An excellent show about Marty Sloane (John Randolph), a middle-aged hardware salesman attending a convention who witnesses the brutal murder of a drug-addicted hooker by sleazy mobster Charley Bombay (Albert Paulsen). Marty is reluctant to testify against Bombay because of the potential for scandal back home. Bombay is a total creep, addressing the murder victim, Angela Carlson (Elaine Joyce) as "you silly broad" before he tosses her off the balcony. Five-O uses a policewoman (Anne Helm as Joyce) posing as Angela's sister, but after her job is finished, she disappears from the case. Helms is very convincing in her portrayal of the sister, especially when Bombay is calling his friend Lou in New Jersey to check on her. Presumably Lou didn't have any information at his fingertips, since Joyce is still alive and well in Bombay's office a few minutes later. A couple of interesting prices -- a kilogram of heroin goes for $250,000, a 4-minute phone call from Honolulu to Jersey City costs $12.80 plus tax. During the final confrontation with Bombay in McGarrett's office, the microphone is very visible on the rear wall. McGarrett describes Bombay as "a cancer that feeds on society" and "a procurer." The episode is nearly derailed by McGarrett's profound speech at the end: "You know, when people like you [Marty] get involved, really involved ... wake up, the rats, the snakes like Bombay, they're dead. I read somewhere: 'any man's death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind'." (This quote is from a Meditation XVII by John Donne, which also includes the famous expressions "for whom the bell tolls" and "no man is an island.") Robert Costa appears as Shoe Shine Man; the episode is directed by Nicholas Colisanto. A good lawyer would have a field day dealing with the way McGarrett needled Sloane at the end of the show, trying to break down Sloane's resistance to identifying Bombay as Angela's killer.

28. Savage Sunday**1/2
Original air date: 10/22/69
This show, the first directed by Reza S. Badiyi who designed the main title, starts out on the beach where Danno and Kono have just finished surfing. A passing cop makes some cracks about Kono's size, wondering if he needs just one surfboard. (Kono is later abused about his girth by both Danno and Chin Ho in the Five-O office in a scene which is not particularly amusing.) The action quickly jumps to the 72nd Battalion Armory, where Henry Silva as revolutionary leader Elpidio Acuna leads several of his followers as they break in and steal rifles -- "the guns we need for the revolution." In doing so, they overpower a guard, played by Beau van den Ecker. Acuna, who has "lived in the shadow of the noose for five years," is from some mysterious country 3500 miles away from Hawaii, where many of his countrymen now reside. McGarrett, working on his day off and dressed casually in white, drops down through the roof during a terrific gun battle, and wounds Acuna after his revolutionary cohorts escape. There is an interesting dialogue later between the two in the hospital where John Stalker plays a doctor. McGarrett tells Acuna, "I'm gonna close this island tight as a rock." The Honolulu Advertiser with the headline Guerrilla Chieftain Captured at Armory has a subhead on the article which looks like "Barlow Nixed for Police Post." Other headlines on the page include "Moon Orbit Today for Apollo 10" and "Nixon, Thieu Face Moment of Truth." McGarrett uses his transparent map. When McGarrett asks Chin Ho for an estimate of how far the revolutionaries have gotten, Chin says, "I haven't got my abacus with me." McGarrett is predictably annoyed when Acuna escapes from the hospital. When Consul Vallios (Wright Esser) from Acuna's country visits McGarrett, describing Acuna as a "mad dog" and suggesting they should not track the revolutionary down, since he will probably die from his wounds, McGarrett fries the consul with several profound statements about democracy and the American way of justice. The music by Don Ray is disappointing. You would expect it to be tense and militaristic, and at the beginning of the show it starts out in that direction, but then it becomes very cheerful ... in fact, this same perky music is used at the end of #39, Bored She Hung Herself, as the lead character frolics in the surf.. These "perky" theme are heard several times throughout the show, including during the final police chase to the docks. At the end, when Acuna's wife Maria (Julie Gregg) tells her husband she is going to have a baby, he asks "A son?" I doubt if they had an ultrasound treatment to determine this, even though ultrasound was in use in the mid-60's. Maria thanks McGarrett for not killing her husband. McGarrett says "We don't like to kill, the decision was easy." A phone number on the revolutionaries' truck has only 6 digits: 898571. Ed Fernandez plays Colonel Tosaki. A shot of a cop car passing a church near the beginning of the show will be used in several subsequent episodes.

29. A Bullet for McGarrett**
Original air date: 10/29/69
Khigh Dhiegh as Wo Fat makes a brief appearance in this episode. He meets at the Punchbowl National Cemetery lookout with his "most brilliant student" and disciple, Dr. Paul Farrar (Eric Braeden, a.k.a. Hans Gudegast), a university psychology professor who has mastered the technique of hypnotizing people to become assassins (see the film The Manchurian Candidate, where Dhiegh plays a similar role). At the beginning of the show one of Farrar's students, Karen Adamson (Sheila Larken, most recently seen as mother of FBI agent Dana Scully on The X-Files) knocks off Richard Han who tried to hustle her earlier, telling her "You're prejudiced ... they're stubborn, these Chinese, but hardly boorish and arrogant." Danno later describes Han as a "Chinese Maoist radical who's involved in a Commie spy ring." Han is played by Winston Char (uncredited), who appeared in Forty Feet High, and it Kills (#26) where he was "First Chinese" last seen in the hospital muttering Wo Fat's name. Danno later breaks into Adamson's locker, seemingly without a warrant, and snoops in her compact, scraping some face powder into a bag for evidence. When he closes the locker, he leaves face powder all around the lock! Adamson, who lives at 2972 Kalakaua Ave. and has a phone number of 923-9052 according to her library card, tries to commit suicide but runs out into the street where she is hit by a truck. I wonder why the truck driver (Beau van den Ecker, uncredited) doesn't stop -- it seems like he has plenty of time to see her. There is a lot of blood after she hits the ground. After the accident, the scene showing the ambulance departing is on a different street, assuming the large truck beside the ambulance is the same one. As in episode #1 and #27, McGarrett decides to use a policewoman as bait to catch Farrar, this time Marianne McAndrew as Joyce Bennett. McGarrett tells her: "I'm not worried about you, honey, I'm worried about what I'm sending you into." She tells him, "Only one thing bothers me ... I don't have a thing to wear [in her role as a university student]," which produces chuckles from Chin and Danno. Joyce and Farrar get chummy, leading to a scene on the beach with hazy photography where he hypnotizes her with this goopy music that sounds like it was used in a Star Trek episode. (She says the music "makes me think of men on the moon.") Farrar convinces her that McGarrett is the man who abused her mother. When Joyce meets McGarrett after this, she calls McGarrett "dangerous" and slaps his face, saying she believes Farrar is innocent. Later on, she shoots McGarrett. Despite his wounds, McGarrett puts up a terrific fight against Farrar. (It's interesting that Adamson can kill Han jumping off a diving board with a single shot, but Joyce only wounds McGarrett who is standing right in front of her.) Joyce comes back to reality when McGarrett grabs her, saying "Listen to me, honey, it's Steve." During the climactic scenes, McGarrett uses the expression "easy" at least 14 times! Chin Ho quote: "We have a saying -- they that shows [sic] no evil will be suspected of none." McGarrett replies, "Not so far as Five-O is concerned." Che Fong is played by Daniel Kamekona, Al (later "Doc") Eben plays Dr. Abrahams, staff psychiatrist at Island Hospital, and Michael Leong is a doctor in the ambulance (uncredited).

30. Sweet Terror**
Original air date: 11/5/69
This show has an interesting premise similar to #46-#47, Three Dead Cows at Makapuu. Theodore Bikel as the ultra-terrorist Professor Erich Stoss (a.k.a. "The Beast") wants to wipe out the Hawaiian sugar cane industry (41.6% of the world's supply, according to Leonard Burleson from the Department of Agriculture, played by Bill Bigelow) with a fungus so countries will have to buy their sugar from a certain "island" (Cuba, which is never specifically mentioned). However, Stoss is just too bland a villain for someone with a heavy-handed nickname conjuring up images of terrorists like Carlos and Nazi sadists. As well, there are annoying gaps in plot logic. For example, at the beginning, why does McGarrett suspect the woman that intelligence agent Hendricks (Bill Reddick) sketched on the plane has any relation to the conspiracy? Hendricks is known to be a "weekend artist." The woman, Mariana de Nava (Linda Marsh) does turn out to be involved, but this is just a coincidence. When Stoss murders Hendricks by stabbing him through the back of the airplane seat, Hendricks reacts by noticeably moving up and then back into his seat. There is seemingly no one sitting beside him (if there was, they surely would have noticed this). But after the plane lands, a woman comes out of the next seat and leaves the plane. Interestingly, this assassination had a parallel in real life several years later when Bulgarian dissident Georgi Markov was killed by poison dart filled with ricin and fired from an umbrella in London in 1978. Hendricks writes on a stewardess's notepad and Stoss drops some cigar ash on it to reveal the deep indentations in the next sheet of paper. But Hendricks is hardly pushing down when we see him writing. The doctor's explanation later as to why Hendricks made no noise when he was stabbed is totally incomprehensible. Stoss freaks when a servant tries to touch his briefcase containing various toxic substances. If Stoss was so concerned, why did he set the briefcase down in the first place? Later Danno is seen doing surveillance, and you can see Danno's face in the mirror on his car door, which probably means he has a nice view of the camera in the rear seat of the car! Stoss provides a good laugh when he complains, "There used to be a day when they made cars large enough so a man could get in and out with ease." We're talking about a 1969-style car here! Chin Ho also provides some comic relief. When Chin comes up with solutions during a Five-O rap session, Kono says, "Give that man a free foo yong." Chin laughs, saying, "Haole food." Kono responds, "Not exclusively, brother!" When Chin is checking out airports, he blabs in his native tongue to Galem Kam who says, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese." When Kam shows Chin his crop-duster that he was going to convert into a playhouse for his kids, he says, "Nice plane, eh, honorable cop?" When Stoss is about to split at the end, leaving Lao (Soon Taik Oh) behind, he tells the complaining Lao, "I would expect a little more fatalism from a man of your race," then suggests that because Lao is Asian he can "fade into the local population." There's a stock shot of McGarrett arriving at the hospital, and the scenes of burning cane field are probably from #12, Pray Love, Remember... A sign on the wall of the Chinese herbalist shop seems to say "POSITIVELY NO STEALING."

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31. The King Kamehameha Blues**
Original air date: 11/12/69
Four university students led by snotty rich kid Arnold Potter (Brandon ("Shane") de Wilde) steal the cloak of a Hawaiian king using an elaborate scheme going through a museum's skylight and then using a homemade tripod mechanism. I wonder if the opening scene where the cat is lowered to test the alarm was monitored by the SPCA? Five-O quickly arrives on the scene, and McGarrett says of the feline: "Take him downtown, book him for trespassing ... tell him his rights and give him some milk and catnip." Potter says of McGarrett: "He's Mr. Cop -- from the mainland to Tokyo." There is gimmicky editing between McGarrett's discussion with the museum director and a rap session at the students' pad. During the robbery, the assembly of the tripod is very noisy, and when they meet outside afterwards, the students are yelling and screaming ... why don't the guards hear them? After they pull off their heist, Potter brags, "We just knocked the establishment on their status quo." When McGarrett visits the students' place with a search warrant, Potter's girlfriend Diana Cole (Jennifer Leak) says of McGarrett: "I love the way he asks all those cute questions." Potter starts making accusations of police brutality; McGarrett responds, "I'm shaking all over." One of the students, Johnny Kalama (Vincent Eder) breaks down after Kono drops a few hints about their Hawaiian heritage and spills the beans to McGarrett. The finale features a fight between Potter and McGarrett on a moving boat. The music by Mundell Lowe (his only Five-O score) is all over the map, including a sitar, some other plucked instrument I can't recognize, big band sounds, and weird rock music. Randall Kim, who was seen in shows #9 and #11, plays Eddie, one of the students, and is given less significant billing than the other three. The Bishop Museum gets thanked in the final credits.

32. Singapore File****
Original air date: 11/19/69
One of my favorite episodes. McGarrett gets a call from a witness in Singapore, Nicole Wylie (Marj Dusay), who has had a change of heart about testifying against the Hawaiian gangster Revasco. McGarrett flies to Singapore and escorts her home, overcoming various odds on the way. The "teaser" for the show is one of the best -- it really keeps us guessing as to what is going on. When McGarrett first meets Nicole, she tells him that she "had to make a living" in Singapore. McGarrett grabs her arms, wanting to check her out for needle marks. He asks, "What about behind the knees?" and she replies, "Check 'em out, cop!" She later tells him, "Whatever you may be, you are not a gentleman." The excellent score by Stevens includes several motifs which will be heard numerous times in future episodes, such as the "memories theme" when McGarrett turns out the light on the boat. When McGarrett and Nicole as "Mr. and Mrs. Henry Collins" get close, he says, "Another time, another place, Nicole." She says, "I forgot you're on duty." When Chin is about to leave for the Philippines to help McGarrett, he says he will bring back Revasco's head on a plate, which is rather odd, since isn't Revasco already in Hawaii? The film climaxes when McGarrett and Nicole arrive at a Philippine shrine which is actually the Byodo-In Temple on Oahu. During a gun battle with various thugs, McGarrett fires at least 8 shots. (Incidentally, his hair is pretty messed up by this point!) The show jumps to a post-trial scene, where McGarrett is seeing Nicole off at the Honolulu airport, telling her "Aloha, pretty girl." McGarrett lathers up for shaving without using any water during one scene. A Capitol LP (same label as the Five-O soundtrack) is seen briefly.

33. All the King's Horses***1/2
Original air date: 11/26/69
This episode starts with McGarrett getting his palm read by some babe at poolside. He makes some suggestions about them going dining and dancing, but he is interrupted by an attempted assassination on Charles Irwin (Jason Evers), an ambitious politician who is anxious to prosecute Mike Finney (James Gregory), a former racketeer who has been living a clean life running a wholesale flower business in Hawaii for the past nine years. Evers, who has his eyes on the attorney-general's job, is the prosecutor for a legislative investigation of the criminal infiltration of Hawaiian unions. Keye Luke as committee chairman Senator Oishi is disturbed by Evers' grandstanding. The Governor is interested in the proceedings, and as McGarrett and the Governor talk on the balcony, there is some mysterious smoke behind them! When McGarrett goes to serve Finney with a subpoena, Finney's attack dogs are quite friendly. Finney's bulky bodyguard Rudy (Charles Gilbert) tells McGarrett, "Cut that out ... you want to ruin their act?" Danno seems quite interested in Finney's daughter Judith (Karen Huston), who teaches handicapped children. When Oishi discusses Finney's past with McGarrett and how people react to it, Oishi says, "I was a Jap for five years, an Oriental for another ten, now I'm an American, but it was a long time before people stopped looking at me as if I were the enemy." Later, when McGarrett figures out that the assassin worked for Irwin's crony Joe Fletcher (Lyle Bettger), McGarrett exclaims "Ah so." When Fletcher, Evers and Senator Colt (Jim Demarest) meet, Oishi is described as "an old lady". Colt says he has to avoid upsetting "a lot of Japanese voters in my constituency." Fletcher tries to get McGarrett to accept a bribe with a hidden tape recorder under his jacket. McGarrett turns his own tape on Fletcher, who runs from the office. McGarrett says, "Open the windows, Danno, it's rank in here." When Fletcher tries to plant some evidence in Finney's office implicating McGarrett in a payoff, Fletcher himself is knocked off by a nasty hitman (Nicholas Benedict) in a particularly brutal killing. Evers is brought down to earth during the crime commission hearings. Unfortunately the hitman knocks off Finney, but McGarrett saves the day, blasting the hitman on the courthouse steps. Good performances all around!

34. Leopard on the Rock**
Original air date: 12/3/69 --
Opening Credits -- End Credits
McGarrett has his hands full when a brutal dictator's plane is diverted to Hawaii as part of an assassination conspiracy. It seems odd that the plane is flying to Geneva from Asia, though -- wouldn't it just go east? The dictator, Utomo Jhakal (Jackal?), played by Titos Vandis, wants to personally interrogate one of his countrymen who tried to ram the plane with a gasoline truck as the plane lands. (Beau Vanden Ecker (uncredited) is the driver that the truck is taken away from.) McGarrett gives Jhakal a few pointers in the way the American legal system works. This causes Consul Koryo from Jhakal's country (Paul Stevens) to tell McGarrett, "I consider this very unprofessional." The weary McGarrett replies, "And I consider it a lot of work!" Jhakal is known by some as "savior of Asia", by others as "an Asiatic Hitler." Kono comments, "Fidel Castro would be more popular in Miami." The cockpit scenes in the landing plane are very realistic, though the pilots' dialog sounds looped. The opening teaser is long. McGarrett doesn't take any crap from Koryo, whom he suspects of complicity in a plot against Jhakal along with former ruler of the country Akhbar Savang (Joe de Santis), who is currently a professor in Hawaii. Savang's daughter Banu (Cynthia Hull) tries to shoot Jhakal, and almost plugs Kono, who is standing in for the dictator. Some interesting camera work in this show -- as Kono leaves the airport in Jhakal's limo, the camera rotates 360 degrees. I wonder why there are no guards outside Jhakal's hotel since McGarrett is being so "cautious." A nice helicopter shot of the Five-O team on the way to the climactic confrontation. Hawaiian Airlines gets a credit at the end.

35. The Devil and Mr. Frog***1/2
Original air date: 12/10/69
An excellent episode full of snappy dialogue, with McGarrett trying to track down the kidnapper of a young boy named Scotty (played by Geoffrey Thorpe, son of Location Casting Director Ted, later guitarist with the metal group Vicious Rumours) who escapes to freedom during the teaser. The boy's father, Gainham (William Zuckert) looks very old, and the kid's mother is nowhere to be seen. At the beginning when McGarrett and Gainham are driving there is interesting camera work with two cameras in the back of the moving car and odd camera angles as the Five-O crew approaches the cabin where the boy was held hostage. The kid reveals his escape strategy to Danno: "I had to go [to the bathroom]." Danno remarks, "Pretty clever, Scotty." James Hong gives a delightfully oily performance as the money launderer Tot Kee, who is unusually friendly with his blond receptionist Missy (Melody Patterson, Mrs. James MacArthur at the time). McGarrett yucks it up in his office with Kee as well as three other cash converters. One of them, Mr. Ming (Galen Kam -- identified in the credits as "Garoyan") is too fat to sit on his chair. Near the end the Five-O crew are seen tailing the main suspect Gibbons (Frank Marth). Chin Ho dons a frog mask (seems like police harrassment in a major way), Kono is seen stuffing his face with food, and Danno sneaks behind a forklift and then climbs up into the rafters in a deserted warehouse to overhear when Gibbons is making a crucial phone call. This last incident is kind of dumb, since it's hard to see how the cautious Gibbons missed seeing Danno climbing up the support beam. Che Fong is mentioned in this show, but not seen.

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36. The Joker's Wild, Man, Wild!***1/2
Original air date: 12/17/69 --
Opening Credits -- End Credits
Rich blond bitch Jo Louise Mailer (Beverlee McKinsey), who has a yacht called "Daddy's Girl," and her two boyfriends Craig Howard (Kaz Garas) and Billy (Lani Kai) have an "insane game" drawing cards from a deck. On the back of the cards are various tasks ranging from setting fires to murder which they have to carry out or lose "points". Jo Louise first meets McGarrett while she's snapping pictures of one of their pranks. She addresses him as "Sergeant" to which he replies "'Mister' will do." The Hawaiian Billy is the subject of abuse by Craig who calls him "a blackie." Jo Louise says, "Billy's not black ... he's sort of ... what are you, Billy? Brown." Craig also refers to Billy as "hired help" and "boy," and Jo Louise later tells Billy he's "a born pineapple picker" with no ambition. Later, Craig sings a fragment of a song from the musical "Show Boat" -- "tote that barge" -- as Billy carries a kayak. Jo Louise drives a Corvette (license number 5B-3684) and a Cadillac which has an AAA sticker on its windshield; another non-Ford vehicle driven by Billy is a four-door green Chevrolet with license number E-8568. When she appears at McGarrett's office, Jo Louise is full of sarcasm, and Danno tells her to cut the crap. She coos, "I like that ... it's so hairy-chested!" She tells McGarrett, "My, what big teeth you have," and he says "Save it for your memoirs, honey." McGarrett also refers to her as "Angelface" and "Lucrezia Borgia." Later she teases McGarrett: "Somebody bend the points on little old badge?" Jo Louise uses the alias of Bonnie Parker (as in Bonnie and Clyde), purring to the owner of a camera shop who helps her escape from Kono, "Men like you make a girl feel so safe." Let's face it ... if this show was made today, the bitchy Jo Louise would be played by Heather Locklear! Eddie Firestone gives a good performance as Stumbles, a bum who almost becomes the trio's final victim.

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37. Which Way Did They Go?**
Original air date: 12/24/69 --
Opening Credits -- End Credits
William Windom is Connors, a career criminal who pulls off the robbery of a currency exchange (Deak & Co. -- a real name) while duping McGarrett and the Five-O crew to think that the caper will be at a bank across the street. Years before, Connors pulled off a similar robbery in Pittsburgh and when he arrived in Hawaii, he was McGarrett's "first big arrest." Philip Pine plays Toshi Nomuru, boss of the exchange -- his Asian makeup is ghastly. (It's more likely his name would be "Nomura"; in fact, both McGarrett and Jenny say "Nomura" at least once.) Harry Endo, soon to be Che Fong, plays Kaspar, the bank president, complete with a Che Fong-like pointer! (Maybe "Kaspar" is his first name, since McGarrett calls him "Mr. Kiyoki" when McGarrett meets him (sleeping!) in his office.) Connors says that "all cops are boobs" and when confronted by a frustrated McGarrett says "you could use a bit more of the aloha spirit." McGarrett tells Connors he will put him away so long that "10 years will seem like a coffee break." The robbery gets nasty when Nomuru's wife is taken hostage and raped (the coroner says she was "criminally assaulted") and then murdered by one of Connors' two associates. When Connors knocks off both his pals, their car is later fished out of the drink by a crane. This entire sequence is lifted from #7, The Ways of Love, with some subtle editing. Pay attention when Nomuru and Connors are approaching the currency exchange parking lot -- they are driving the wrong way down a one-way street. When Danno is sitting at a bank desk, waiting for the robbers who never show up, a sign in front of him suggests the rate for Japanese yen is 370 to the dollar. How times have changed! Danno persists in using the 1940's slang expression "gunsel" ("gunman"). Connors is tracked down using a trace on a pay phone number -- 287-1299. After McGarrett uses his phone at one point, he hangs up and it falls out of its cradle. The ending, with McGarrett making a trip to Hong Kong, is a bit too fast. The final scene, supposedly taking place in a Hong Kong currency exchange, has some bad editing. As Connors is seen talking to the owner, behind him are ads promoting the use of ZIP codes -- this whole scene is "flopped" (everything is reversed). Then in a subsequent shot, where Connors has turned at a 90 degree angle, the same background is seen with everything correct (and one side of Connors' collar higher, the opposite of the previous shot). A poster for U.S. Savings Stamps is also seen (it looks like this was filmed in a sub-post office.) One scene with McGarrett arriving at the palace and running up the steps is from the beginning of #22, Six Kilos. Jackie Coogan makes a brief appearance as the informer Jerry Howe, who dies during the teaser.

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38. Blind Tiger***1/2
Original air date: 12/31/69
Marion ("Happy Days") Ross gives an top-notch performance as the no-nonsense Nurse Edith Lavallo who is assigned to care for McGarrett after he's injured and blinded in a car bomb explosion. McGarrett, being very stubborn, wants to return to his office, and Lavallo makes him get dressed by himself (a shot of bare-chested Jack Lord which also reveals Lord shaved his underarm hair) and forces him to try and make his way out of the hospital totally on his own. (Of course, he doesn't succeed.) He sarcastically refers to her as "Florence Nightingale" and doesn't want to end up with a "tin cup and dark glasses." Robert Edwards plays the psycho villain Masterson, who wears glasses with Coke-bottle lenses. Harry Endo puts in his first appearance as Che Fong, whose explanation of the bomb mechanism, made from tubular steel taken from the "Westphalian Oberlin Car" (presumably a euphemism for Volkswagen) is not totally convincing. "Doctor Freeman" is paged in the hospital. At the beginning, the Governor pays a visit to the Five-O office to celebrate McGarrett's birthday along with the Five-O crew. There's ominous foreshadowing when McGarrett shakes one of his presents, asking, "It won't explode, will it?" The Governor points out that they discovered two different birthdays for McGarrett, a year apart. Sounds like Jack Lord himself!

39. Bored She Hung Herself*1/2
Original air date: 1/7/70 --
Plot -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
Timings: Teaser: 4:42; Main Titles: 0:56; Act One: 5:35; Act Two: 14:13; Two Bumpers: 0:05 each; Act Three: 16:42; Act Four: 7:49; End Credits: 0:49; Total Time: 50:56.
This episode has never been seen on TV since the original broadcast, presumably because of an issue with some of the subject matter. One of the lead characters, Don Miles (Don Quine) engages in various hippie pursuits like yoga, natural foods, chanting "Hare Krishna" and hanging himself by the neck from the ceiling, this supposedly being yoga-related. In reality, it is more likely related to autoerotic asphyxiation. Some viewer tried this at home and died, according to Mrs. Leonard Freeman, speaking to fans at the 1996 Five-O convention in Burbank, CA. When Don's girlfriend Wanda (Pamela Murphy) is found hanging and dead, McGarrett is on the case. At first it looks like a suicide, but the coroner (played by casting director Ted Thorpe) says "It's possible she was assaulted," adding, "The victim was already dead when she was hung." Her father, psychiatrist Warren Parker (William Smithers), seems very chummy in a creepy manner to Wanda at the beginning of the show when he dries her off with a towel. He obviously has a good practice, because he is later seen driving a Jaguar XKE. Herman ("Duke") Wedemeyer appears at the crime scene as Lt. Grayson. When he shows some drugs from Don's pad to McGarrett, the Five-O boss comments "Let the good times roll!" The 13-year-old next door neighbor kid (Joel Berliner), who found Wanda hanging, is precocious, full of hip sayings like "Wanda was getting bagged all the time" and "outta sight". He describes Don as "a health freak ... he doesn't believe in dropping anything unless it's organic." The boy's father (Eugene McDunnah) was worried his son would turn into a "dope fiend" by associating with Don. When Parker gets heavy with McGarrett, McGarrett blames his problems on the "generation gap." Parker's response is to threaten to get McGarrett fired! The father of the kid next door is revealed as the real killer ... he says that Wanda "was making a big play for me ... she kept leading me on, then she turned me down." For people trying to collect a complete set of episodes, this one is the most difficult to find. There are bootleg copies of it floating around; some of them look like they were projected on a wall and filmed with a camcorder (not recommended if you are an epileptic because of the strobe-like flickering). The DVD release of season two does not contain this episode.

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40. Run, Johnny, Run****
Original air date: 1/14/70
AWOL sailor John Mala (Nephi Hanneman) seemingly kills Fred Waters (Beau van de Ecker), an MP who is trying to bust him, but McGarrett, who helped Mala in the past, refuses to accept this as an "open and shut case." Christopher Walken gives an above-average performance in an early starring role as Walt Kramer, the shot MP's buddy. There is racial tension in this show. McGarrett has to calm things down between the navy and the local community. When sailors bust heads while searching for the escaped Mala, McGarrett tells their commander, "Your boys almost started a riot ... a race riot," and suggests the navy better watch it when "pushing 'my people' around." Later, Kramer tells McGarrett, "You appointed yourself Big White Daddy to John Mala," and later says "You're trying to get your Kanaka boy off the hook." There's a comic scene when Kono and Chin Ho are trying to figure out the trajectory of the fatal bullet, which took a path similar to the "magic bullet" from the JFK assassination. Kono points his gun at Chin who freaks out, asking if the gun is loaded. Kono replies, "Sure it's loaded!" There is effective hand-held camera work during a knock-down fight between McGarrett and Mala. McGarrett spends the last part of the show looking very bruised. Overall, an excellent episode.

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41. Killer Bee***
Original air date: 1/21/70
Psychiatric technician George Loomis (David Arkin) is intentionally driving his fellow Vietnam vet Ted Frazer (Jeff Pomerantz) crazy, since the latter is the only witness to Loomis massacring his platoon during combat action. Before he joined the U.S. Army, Frazer kidnapped a young boy, and was subsequently institutionalized for a couple of years until pronounced "cured," after which he enlisted. Loomis is making Frazer think he is repeating his crime by kidnapping young boys, as well as keeping Frazer constantly doped up and haranguing him about his mother (Doreen Lang). At one point, Loomis even mutilates himself to make Frazer think that he attacked him. Frazer's mother is probably the most dysfunctional parent in all of Five-O, totally estranged from her son because of his past, even to the point of changing her name from Frazer to Watson. When asked by McGarrett if she has any pictures of her son, she says she has "lots of them ... all ugly." Later, George tries to reconcile with his mother at his father's grave and when he hugs her, she pushes him away, saying "Don't paw me." Loomis's boss at the veterans' hospital, Dr. Wong (Chapman Lam), spouts off an amazing amount of medical mumbo-jumbo to McGarrett and Danno with phrases like "acute psychotic breakdown," "traumatic war neurosis," "schizophrenic reaction of the chronic undifferentiated type," and "state of catatonic stupor," among others. McGarrett sends the Five-O team out to investigate, telling Kono to "check every pharmacy on the island" for chloroform, used by Loomis to kidnap the children (according to Danno, you can buy this without a prescription -- though one wonders why, since it doesn't seem to have had any "household" uses). When McGarrett encounters George in the hospital at the end of the show, after having had a brainstorm about George's complicity in Frazer's breakdown, he tries to prod Loomis into confessing by yelling, "What did you do to earn those medals, George? Did you make a sweep of some gook-infested hill" while the Asian Dr. Wong is standing right beside the two of them. George falls over a wheelchair being pushed by a nurse while he is trying to escape, after which McGarrett further harangues George in a flashback-like sequence where Jack Lord appears in military uniform, similar to season one's King of the Hill where he was also trying to "talk down" a military man with serious problems.

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42. The One with the Gun**1/2
Original air date: 1/28/70
John Colicos plays Lorenzo Corman, a mainland man with a criminal past attempting to track down who murdered his brother Peter (Steve Logan) during a rigged poker game. Julie Gregg, who appeared earlier in the season in #28, Savage Sunday, is Peter's wife Maggie, who withholds evidence from McGarrett that her dying husband whispered to her on his death bed. Colicos' performance is unusually menacing -- when he grills George Byas (Mitch Mitchell), one of the poker players, about the chain of events which led up to his brother's death, Byas' hands are shaking. The guy who did it was Sam Quong, played by Jack Soo of Barney Miller fame in a laid-back manner. Quong is left-handed (this is the deathbed confession), but he is seen holding his cigar with his right hand as well as a TV remote control, and also pours a drink with his right hand. It's almost as if Soo kept forgetting how his character should act ... but this was before VCRs and DVDs when you could check this sort of thing easily! Tom Fujiwara appears as the sleazy private investigator S.K. Shogi, who runs a "Detection and Protection Agency." He is seen in a van at the beginning spying on the poker players from outside the house with surveillance equipment. Whether this equipment transmits information to the van in a "wireless" fashion is not explained. Kwan Hi Lim is seen briefly, uncredited, as a private detective who is suspected of involvement in the murder of Peter, and Josie Over, looking very hot, is the bar hostess Lilo whom McGarrett predictably sends Danno to check out. Another player making an uncredited appearance is Kimo Kahoano. He plays a swimmer who, along with his girl friend, finds Peter's body at the beginning of the show after hearing shots. (The girlfriend's scream is very loud and leads into the main titles.)

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43. Cry, Lie****
Original air date: 2/4/70
One of the late Kam Fong's favorite episodes, where Chin Ho is accused of taking bribes by a sleazy dope pusher named Jerry Amura (Derek Mau). This show reveals "the human side of Chin," giving us glimpses into his private life. He has 8 kids, is about 5'10" and weighs between 200 and 230 pounds. At the entrance to his driveway is a Chinese pagoda, and his house number is 812. He's been a cop for 22 years, has 4 commendations and 2 citations for bravery. He likes to attend the fights on Tuesday night, go bowling, and also go to church. Four of his kids are shown watching cartoons on TV, while his son Tim (Leighton Lee) is hogging the telephone. McGarrett reveals his feelings for the Five-O crew, saying to Chin, "I love you like a brother and that goes for every other man on this staff." When Kono is upset because Chin turns in his badge, McGarrett says, "Kono, if I didn't love you, I'd punch you right in the mouth," saying "Crying about it doesn't help anything." (Chin is really sweating during his grilling by McGarrett.) When the Governor tells McGarrett he's turning the investigation of Chin over to the Attorney-General, McGarrett remarks, "Would you like to start digging up my back yard?" Mrs. Chin Ho Kelly is Evelyn Carlson. Martin Sheen, who is full of non-stop energy, guest stars as the sleazy lawyer Eddie Calhao who is the mastermind responsible for the bribe setup. He is working in cahoots with Brocar Realty boss Karl Brohme (Larry Ronson). Calhao tells Brohme, who he considers old-fashioned, "You gotta learn to use the media." We never really find out what is behind this big scheme that Calhao has hatched or what it is leading to. Chin is being bribed, but so what? Calhao says something like "this project will end when McGarrett is indicted." There is no revenge angle against McGarrett or Five-O for any reason that I can determine, though admittedly, Brohme is a crook who probably has a bug up his ass courtesy of McGarrett. He is hardly as bad as big-time crooks who appeared on the show like Honore Vashon. At the end of the show, McGarrett "takes the law into his own hands" to get the case against Chin resolved. Danno goes to Brohme's place to throw a bunch of accusations at him, and McGarrett sidles up to Calhao while the latter is having lunch to smugly tell him that Brohme is using him. You would think that the two crooks would quickly be in touch with each other about these developments, but there is no indication that they were. Then McGarrett gets Danno and Kono to scare the crap out of Calhao. At night time, the two of them, wearing heavy trench coats (rather ridiculous in Hawaii) shoot at Calhao and pursue him into a building under construction. This proactive approach works very well, since Calhao, freaking out, runs to McGarrett, who just happens to show up on the scene with some cops from HPD, begging for help. He is taken away to spill the beans on Brohme. Obviously a source of inspiration for the new Five-O.

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44. Most Likely to Murder****
Original air date: 2/11/70
A powerhouse episode, with Tom Skerritt as Lew Morgan, a cop whose wife Marjorie is murdered. Danno is a long-time friend of both, as far back as high school, and events test Danno's loyalty to Lew and Five-O. Lew considers himself to be a loser for not getting promoted upwards at HPD, and also because (as we find out) he couldn't keep his wife from getting interested in other men. Danno gets very emotional during this show -- one of James MacArthur's best performances. We get to see inside Danno's apartment, where he has a bar. He says he will make Lew a "wild Spanish omelet," and drinks a beer. When Danno issues an APB after Gary Oliver (Sam Melville), the main suspect in Marjorie's murder, escapes, the footage of the cop car approaching the Royal Hawaiian Bank is from #36, The Joker's Wild, Man, Wild! -- you can even see Beverlee McKinsey coming out of the building! The scene where a cop car enters a street and backs up and another where a cop car rounds a corner by a church are also cribbed from #36. When hot babe and Oliver's former girlfriend Gloria Warren (Linda Ryan) visits the Five-O office, McGarrett tells his receptionist "Thank you, Jenny," meaning "Get lost!" Gloria gets flirty with McGarrett, and on the way out gives her phone number to Jenny -- 737-7913. When Warren leaves, Kono is salivating, and he tells the curious McGarrett he was "just watching for the mailman." Later Gloria is seen running around in a slip and necking heavily with Oliver (there is a freeze frame during their kiss). Another witness, Mrs. Shivley (Alice Lemon) comes to the Five-O office where she tells Chin Ho, "You don't look Irish!" This is an unusually tense show, no doubt thanks to the large number of closeups as well as hand-held camera work and unusual camera angles at the beginning. The tragic ending (it was Lew who murdered his wife) has the focus on Danno instead of McGarrett for a change. The music suffers a momentary lapse (rather banal under the circumstances) into the usual big climax as the final act comes to a close.

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45. Nightmare Road**
Original air date: 2/18/70 --
Opening Credits -- End Credits
Timings: Teaser: 4:14; Main Titles: 0:58; Act One: 13:25; Act Two: 8:29; Act Three: 9:03; Act Four: 13:07; End Credits: 0:53; Total Time: 50:09. (Episodic Promo: 1:02)
Charles Aidman gives a deadpan performance as Royce, a research scientist whose specialty is "hydraulics and chemical detection" who's set up by revolutionaries from some mysterious country and convinced to leave Hawaii with them by submarine. Royce has developed a device which can detect metal in water called NOSE (Nautical Observation of Submerged Enemy). McGarrett finds himself again competing with federal agents under the direction of the pushy Merrill Carson (Fred Beir). Carson's men punch out Kono who's on surveillance (we learn Kono's last name in this scene from his business card -- Kalakaua -- which also has the Five-O office number: 732-5577). Kono later appears in the Five-O office with a bandage on his hair (ouch!). Kono says "It hurts only when I think about it. I think about it a lot." McGarrett expresses his disgust to Carson over this incident, saying "Just remember, this is Hawaii, the fiftieth state ... it is not Cuba, or the Dominican Republic or Vietnam or Laos ... you dig?" When Royce phones Five-O, McGarrett tells Danno to trace the call without putting the call on hold, and Danno gives the phone company instructions in a loud and obvious voice. (The pay phone number -- 287-1299 -- is the same used in episode #37.) McGarrett is far too clever in this episode. He figures out that a gun used to set up Royce with a phony shooting at the beginning of the show was held by a pair of pliers, and also locates where Royce is being held based on the sound of a pile driver in the background noise during Royce's phone call. There are some serious continuity problems as the Five-O team attempt to follow the revolutionaries on the way to the submarine. McGarrett radios to Chin Ho, and the call is taken by Kono, who not only has no bandage on his hair, but wears a darker suit (he was wearing a light grey one in the office) and seems to be answering with Chin Ho's voice. (Furthermore, Kono answers McGarrett by saying, "Got it, Steve." Kono would be more likely to address McGarrett as "Boss.") In the next scene at the beach, Kono again has no bandage, and is wearing the light grey suit again. The "memories" theme is heard at the end after Royce fishes his murdered girl friend (the attractive Pilar Seurat) out of the ocean. There's a few laughs earlier on when Chin Ho asks McGarrett what "cherchez la femme" means. We also learn that Danno made jewellery when he was a kid. Daniel Kamekona, who usually plays cops, appears unbilled as one of the revolutionaries. When Seurat's character, Theresa Dietrich, receives a letter from the Immigration and Naturalization Service, it is signed by "James Heinz" -- an in-joke referring to the episode's associate producer. This letter is addressed to her at 2120 Kaneheohe Drive, not a real address.

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46 & 47. Three Dead Cows at Makapuu****
Original air date: 2/25/70 & 3/4/70
An outstanding show with a very serious "contemporary" theme. Ed Flanders is Dr. Alexander Kline, a microbiologist who developed a "biological mutation hostile to all forms of life on earth" while working at Fort Detrick, a U.S. Army installation well known for biomedical research and development. Horrified by his discovery, Flanders disappears, only to resurface in Hawaii where he intends to unleash this deadly substance and wipe out all life on Hawaii (meaning Oahu) as a protest against the evils of biological warfare and show that "the world is on the brink of a terrible catastrophe." Federal bigshot Jonathan Kaye (Joseph Sirola) is quick to arrive on the scene, saying that such weapons are a "necessary deterrent power." In response to this, McGarrett says, "You people frighten me." Kaye is accompanied by Dr. A.L. Benjamin (Dana Elcar), chief of operations at Fort Detrick. The Army is also involved, much to McGarrett's distaste. Colonel Sindell (H.M. Wynant) says of Kline, "he's a criminal, more perverted and dangerous than Hitler." The script is by Anthony Lawrence, based on a story by executive producer Leonard Freeman and makes reference to actual events, including anthrax experiments with sheep on Gruinard Island in Scotland in 1942, which caused the island to be quarantined for over 40 years; the "Dugway sheep incident," where six thousand sheep near the Army's Proving Ground at Dugway, Utah were killed by nerve gas in 1968; and an incident where Okinawan children suffered skin burns when swimming south of an Army ordinance camp in 1968. (The last two are referred to in a Life magazine article of August 22, 1969.) There is also talk of various real plague-like diseases including Q fever, Rift Valley fever and glanders and a device called a "Firefly detector," which is used to detect life forms in outer space. Loretta Swit gives a touching performance as Wanda Russell, a phone operator who picks up "strays," including Dr. Kline. She lives in an apartment building at 2466 Waimea Drive which is seen in other episodes, and her room contains hippie-like posters. Karl Swenson is Abel Morgan, a blind (or near-blind) sculptor who knows Kline (this relationship is never explained) and presumably created the scrimshaw made from a whale's tooth which Kline was using as a paperweight at his work that McGarrett uses to connect the dots. The scene where Dr. Malden (Ken Drake) tries a last-ditch attempt to coax information out of Kline with sodium pentothal and regression therapy is pretty creepy. The score is attributed to Shores, but contains several stock sequences, including the "memories" theme which is heard several times. Kline's toxic substance in a test tube is accompanied by a weird electronic sound when it is seen leaking.

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48. Kiss the Queen Goodbye**
Original air date: 3/11/70
Timings: Teaser: 2:28; Main Titles: 0:58; Act One: 11:14; Act Two: 14:03; Act Three: 7:44; Act Four: 13:50; End Credits: 0:50; Total Time: 51:07. (Episodic Promo: 1:02)
This final season two episode, like the last one for season one, is a big disappointment. The chemistry between the two lead characters -- sometime jewel thief Camilla Carver (a.k.a. Janet Kingston, played by Joanne Linville, the quack doctor from season one) and the swishy Michael Olson (Christopher Cary, who is highly reminiscent of another English actor, Michael York) -- is peculiar, to say the least. Michael sees a former Hollywood movie idol, Thurman Elliott (George Gaynes) steal a bracelet at a party prior to the show. Carver uses this information to blackmail Elliott into taking her to a reception where a priceless emerald called The Queen of Polynesia is to be handed over from the family that owns it to the state of Hawaii. During the ceremony surrounding the emerald, there is a lot of Hawaiian color and patter. There is also a lot of blather from the Governor, who is hosting the event. His speech goes on in the background for over four minutes while various behind-the-scenes activities are followed. The governor makes reference to "golden, friendly, proud people [i.e., native Hawaiians]," not too many of whom are in attendance at the gathering, which takes place at the Makaha Inn. You have to wonder how much of a big deal security over this jewel is (the Governor says "people are coming from all over the world" to see the "most valuable gemstone in the island"). Not only Five-O is in attendance, but also 122 members of the Honolulu Police Department. The theft of the emerald is supposed to be a near-perfect crime, and it works much better than one might expect. Carver hands a poisoned rose to the girl wearing the jewel as part of a historical re-enactment, and then does a slight-of-hand number to replace it with a fake after the girl faints. But why does no one get suspicious when Carver is the only person suddenly getting up out of her seat to give the girl a flower as well as the first person who rushes up to aid the girl when she collapses? There are a lot of assumptions here that everything will work like clockwork: that the girl will prick her finger on the rose, that no one will see Carver pulling the switch, and that crowds surrounding the fainting girl will keep Five-O from seeing what is going on. Everything does go like clockwork, but after Michael escapes in a policeman's uniform, he is pursued by McGarrett by helicopter and is captured. The Five-O team are nattily attired in servants' uniforms (McGarrett in a red jacket, Danno in blue like a waiter, Kono and Chin in white). The ending is lame, not helped by the fact that the girl playing Elliott's granddaughter Amanda (Druanne Setlow), who is taking part in the ceremonies and forced to participate in the theft, gives an uncomfortable performance. (The relationship of the financially destitute Gaynes with his granddaughter is also peculiar -- where are the girl's parents?) One positive thing about the show: the brilliant color of the outdoor photography at the Makaha Inn. As well, this is the first episode where a musical theme (sung here by some children dressed in hula outfits, though the children are actually not singing) is introduced that will be heard numerous times in other episodes. I have tried to determine if this is an actual Hawaiian melody, and the general consensus seems to be that it is not, and the tune was created specifically for the show.

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