X-Files Blooper List Season 1

The following is a list of the contents of the XF Blooper Reel from Season 1. Some of the quotes are not word-for-word. Thanks to Miri and Flameboy for filling in some of the gaps.

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The show starts with a montage of several XF scenes, much like a "coming attractions" preview, complete with stern-voiced announcer.
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Mulder & Deep Throat emerge from a building (in E.B.E.?), Deep Throat says "it's awfully quiet, Mr. Mulder" while there is a terrific amount of noise in the background.
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Mulder in car says to Scully, "Scully, you're not one of the more sexually spontaneous people I know."
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Mulder and Scully dancing in the rain (from The Pilot)
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(From Genderbender?) Mulder talks to store owner, who says, "They usually shop down there at the feedstore," just as a buggy with horses drives by. Mulder says, "You're clairvoyant!"
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Scully flubs lines and laughs
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Villain from "Fire" (Mark Sheppard) sings very loudly.
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Guy in red "monster" costume struggles to walk through woods in "Fallen Angel" ... the strange outfit was used to create the 'clear distortion' of the alien moving around.
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Mark Sheppard sings again.
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Mulder: "This guy's a walking aphrodisiac, the ultimate nookie magnet, Spanish fly incarnate!" (from Genderbender)
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"Fallen Angel" red monster guy walks some more, accompanied by silly music.
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Scully and Mulder drive up in car, Scully gets out and looks at two guys who are totally burned up on the ground and says, "They're done!" Crew breaks up.
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Scene in rain from The Pilot, Scully struggles with her lines, finally when she finishes the crew cheers.
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Mulder flubs lines.
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Mulder talks to guy wearing wig who pulls it off (from "Miracle Man").
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Mulder, Scully and third guy share a laugh.
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Scully flubs lines.
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Scully says, "It's a hell of a case, Mulder, I wouldn't mind being in your shoes." Mulder: "...or my pants."
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Mulder in scene from one of Tooms shows as Tooms gets in van: "I have a Norwegian elkhound, I use him to hunt moose ... for my hair."
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Same scene, Mulder says: "Where can I get a jumpsuit like that?"
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Scully to Mulder: "Have you ever had any dealings with a cow?" Mulder: ">What< are you implying?" (crew breaks up)
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Scenes of guys flying across room and out the window.
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Mulder, Scully suppress laughter, finally they can't hold it any more.
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Several scenes where Mulder is called "crazy".
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Mulder and Scully in car, Mulder starts driving, there's the sound of a cat being squished. Both of them break up.
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Various "serious" scenes.
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Mulder calls Scully, she seems to fall into a hole.
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Scene in elevator (Ghost in the Machine?), Scully seems to give Mulder a blowjob (she unzips his fly with her teeth), followed by Mulder zipping up his pants. (Ghost in the Machine)
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Serious scene from "Tooms" show.
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Bug scenes from "Darkness Falls."
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Mulder, Scully laugh.
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Monster in an XF hat says, "Harry, you're a fuckin' genius."
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Mulder: "We fucked up."
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More bug scenes from "Darkness Falls."
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Scene from "Fire," Scully runs yelling at the camera, then suddenly breaks up.
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Scully yells "Weird" at camera.
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Bad guy from "Fire" asks for a cigarette.
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Titles for the blooper show run VERY fast.
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Titles run again much slower with various music and commentary behind. Mostly gory scenes from the show!
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Mulder to Scully: "Kiss me."
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Scully makes cross eyes and sticks her tongue out.
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Scenes where Mulder is called "Fox, Fox", then "Denise" (shot of DD from Twin Peaks), another shot of DD seemingly nude with a tea pot in a strategic location.
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Scully flubs lines.
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Scully to Mulder: "If this is monkey pee, you're on your own." Mulder: "It's an acquired taste." (Erlenmeyer Flask)
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Scully enters women's bathroom, Mulder removes "women's" sign, enters. (Erlenmeyer Flask)
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CC is labelled "The Master of Yuppie Morbidity."
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Scene of surfer (ostensibly CC) mooning the camera.
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20th Century Fox logo ... the film deteriorates. This is followed by a 'see you next year', and then a shot of DD as Dennis/Denise waving a bouquet.